Page 23 of Cold Foot Croc

“Why not?” Dylan asked quietly.

Garret clenched his jaw, and then threw his brother’s words back at him. “Maybe because I’m not a man.”

Dylan huffed a frozen breath and sank into the camp chair he’d unfolded earlier. “I’m sorry I said that. You know what I mean. I’m human. You aren’t anymore.”

“I still remember what it’s like though. I wouldn’t hurt a woman or a child as a human. I won’t hurt them now.”

“Are you with her?” Dylan asked.

Garret shook his head, but couldn’t understand the dark feeling that swirled around in his middle. “No. We’re just friends. It’s new.”

“We had a deal. Women complicate things, and we can’t afford to make any mistakes right now.”

“Ican’t afford to, Dylan.Ican’t. You’re good. You’re in the clear. You can still live a normal life. Nothing about mine feels normal anymore, except one thing. When I’m talking to Raynah, I forget what I am for a little while. I’m just Garret again.” He stood and made his way to the truck, pulled the can of bear spray from the back seat, and then tossed it to Dylan.

“What’s this?” Dylan asked, squinting at the label in the fading light of evening.

“Raynah bought it for you. Just in case I find camp too soon.”

Dylan’s bright blue eyes darted up to Garret.

“She’s a badass, but she’s nice,” Garret said to his brother. “She doesn’t even bat an eye at what I am. She makes me feel kind of good about being the bear. I’ll introduce you to her when I’m ready. I still don’t know what I’m freaking doing.”

He shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it over the log by the tent, then began to hike toward the trees. His skin had been tingling all day in anticipation, and now it felt like electric currents were zinging up and down his spine, and through his arms.

“She still killed a man,” Dylan called.

Garret halted, and then turned. “If someone beat Mom up, and the police released him, what would you do, Dylan?”

Dylan just stared at him, turning the bear spray in his hands over and over, refusing to answer.

“I know what I would do. I’d do what Raynah did. I bet when she talks to me about it someday, I’ll agree with her decision even more. I’m pretty sure that the Cold Foot Crew wouldn’t lether in if she didn’t have reasons for what she did. I don’t sense anything bad about her.”

“You didn’t sense anything bad about that Farrah chick either, and look how that turned out.”

And there it was. There was the exact button Dylan knew how to push.

Garret shook his head, furious with his brother and furious with himself as memories of fighting Farrah’s Komodo dragon flashed across his mind. He’d really liked her, and he’d messed up. If he could’ve figured out her intentions earlier, maybe he could’ve stopped her from attacking Sasha at all. Instead, he’d died that night, and Sasha had painted the snow red and died right along with him. And now she was a new shifter, like him. Everything got so fucked up because of Farrah.

Because of him.

Garret didn’t turn back again, didn’t look over his shoulder, didn’t say goodbye to Dylan.

His brother was in a mood, and it was pissing him off. Right now, this close to a Change, he couldn’t get pissed off at his brother. He was afraid his bear would hunt the camp and punish Dylan. That was his biggest fear.

He wished Dylan would stay in town, but he also understood his brother’s worry. What if Garret attacked a hiker, or made his way to town and terrorized the community? Dylan would fly a drone in the sky and watch Garret to make sure he didn’t make any mistakes he couldn’t come back from.

As much as he and Dylan butted heads sometimes, as brothers did, the truth was that Dylan had rearranged his entire life to help Garret transition into this confusing shifter life. He didn’t have to do that, but he did it without a second thought because that’s the type of man Dylan was.

He also said things as they were. Sometimes Garret appreciated the brutal honesty, but sometimes, like today, hewished his brother would just be happy for him, that he found a woman he was interested in again. He’d been single for a long time.

Garret marched farther and farther into the woods, stalling.

The Change was the worst part of this life.

It was slow and painful, and he didn’t want to do it. No benefit of the animal was big enough to make up for all the shit he had to deal with now.

Fuck. He climbed higher and higher through the woods, weaving in and out between trees. Farther and farther, step by step through deep snow. He wasn’t cold, but really, he didn’t get cold anymore. It felt as if his skin was on fire, but still he held off the bear. He didn’t want to be him. He didn’t want any of this.

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