Page 69 of Knot My Luck

I push up onto my toes, pressing my lips to his. It’s soft at first, slow. But when I slide my fingers into his hair, tugging him closer, he groans, deep and needy, and something in me shatters.

I want him.

I wantthis.

And I don’t want to wait anymore.

The moment Cathal groans into my mouth, something in me snaps.

I don’t hold back.

I press closer, my fingers tangling in his hair, my body fitting against his as if I was made for this – for him. And for a moment, he gives in. His hands tighten on my waist, his breath sharp against my lips. I can feel the battle raging in him, the want he’s holding back.

But then, just as I deepen the kiss, he pulls away.

“Devlin.” His voice is hoarse, thick with restraint. He cups my face, resting his forehead against mine. “We should stop.”

No.

I shake my head, gripping the front of his shirt. “Why?”

His jaw tightens. I watch the muscle tick, see the way his hands flex against me as if he’s fighting himself.

“Because I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers.

Something inside me softens – but not enough to let this go.

“You won’t,” I promise.

He exhales heavily, stepping back, slipping from my grasp. Cold air rushes between us, filling the space I despise.

“That’s the thing, a rún.” His smile is sad, almost resigned. “I already have.”

The past settles between us like a ghost.

I search his face, the flickering shadows cast by the moonlight. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

He doesn’t answer. But he doesn’t deny it, either.

I fold my arms, grounding myself. “Talk to me, Cathal. Tell me why you’re holding back. Why you look at me like you want me, but you won’t let yourself have me.”

He looks away, his shoulders rising with his inhale. “Because I should have fought for you.” His voice is quiet, rough. “Because I should have been there, should have—” He stops, dragging a hand through his hair. “I should have made sure you never had to be alone. I should never have walked away. Should never have thrown away what we had. I should have been patient…. No. I should have been content with what we had. You were always enough, Embers. Always more than enough for me.”

A lump rises in my throat.

He swallows hard, his gaze finding mine again, raw and open in a way I’ve never seen before. “I thought I was protecting you. That if I kept my distance, you’d be safer. That you’d have a choice. But all I did was make you believe you weren’t wanted.” He exhales, shaking his head. “And that’s my biggest regret.”

My breath catches.

I never knew.

I never realised how much he’d carried, how much he had struggled. I thought he’d left me behind, thought he’d moved on while I was still haunted by him.

But now…now I see it.

The guilt. The fear.

I step closer. He doesn’t move away this time.

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