Page 13 of Falling for the Sheriff

I walk back into my house and go directly to the shower, needing to wash this night off of me. I can still feel his strong hands on my body. I can still taste the hint of bourbon on my lips from his kiss. And my knotted-up stomach is still just as tight as it was when he pulled away from me at the side of the road.

I know what I need to do to put him behind me. I need to distract myself. After I shower, I’ll go to my computer and work on the website for the youth center. I need to do something that will require some brainpower, something that keeps my hands busy while my thoughts are able to drift. That means work. And a lot of it.

EIGHT

Bryce

My thoughts are filled with visions of her. The way she felt when I lost control and kissed her for the first time, how warm she was against me, how sweet she tasted. I had to shower all that off of me. I wasn’t expecting her to come knocking on my door. With all of that rolling around inside of me, when she threw herself at me, I lost it. I thought, fuck it. I’m taking what I want, and I want her. There really was no way to push her back, not when I was already as lost as I was.

But as things went further, I couldn’t ignore the doubt building in my body. She’s young, too young for a man like me. I’ve been to places, seen things. I can’t forget my past, and I won’t bring someone else into it. She’s already discovered that I was at the same bombing which killed her parents. When she finds out I wasn’t there to help them, then what? Will she hate me? Will she blame me? Or will she tell me the same thing countless other people have said about the matter: you did what you could, you did your best.

The truth is, I remember her parents. Right before the bomb went off, I looked up from the floor after being shot, and I locked eyes with her dad. He wanted to rush across the room to help me, but he was torn between helping me and leaving his wife.As unconsciousness tugged at me, he finally pulled her along with him so he could try and protect her while helping me. I remember him putting his hands across the gunshot wound in my chest and applying pressure. The pain was enough to pull me from the darkness, so I opened my eyes and saw him hovering over me. I had so many questions. Why was he helping me? Why wasn’t he trying to find a way out of here? All hell had broken loose by this point. The doors weren’t being guarded like before. My mouth opened to ask, but it was like he sensed what I was going to say. He said, “Because this world needs you.”

Then, the bomb went off, and everything went black. I never knew what happened to the man who had helped me. I didn’t know if he and his wife made it out alive or if they perished in the bombing. It wasn’t until I was released from the hospital nearly a month later that I found out. I went to the station and did some digging, searching through names and then looking them up to put a face to the name. I finally found the man and discovered he and his wife both died when the bomb went off. It killed me to know that two people died in my place. I planned on going to his family and telling them that he died a hero, but when I looked into their relatives, I found only one family member. Her name was Katharina Camilla Waters. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to face her. She was so young and now all alone in the world, thanks to me.

I guess now I wish I would’ve kept up with her and her whereabouts. I ran from her in Denver, and she doesn’t even know it. I ran here. Whether it’s either a fucked up coincidence that she’s here, too, or some twist of fate, I don’t know.

When she was introduced to me as Nina Waters, I didn’t put two and two together, even though the last name gave me a ping of confusion. Once she told me about the bombing, I knew exactly who she was. I should’ve kept my distance then, but I’m a stupid man. I should’ve known you can’t run from things thathaunt you. If you could, you wouldn’t need to run to begin with. Either way, I’m sure when she finds out I’m the reason she lost her parents, she’ll never want to look at me again anyway. Maybe I should just tell her and get it off my chest. That would keep her away for sure, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about us getting close again. But something in my chest won’t let me do it. I don’t want to bring all that up for her. Not here, her safe haven.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel like I haven’t slept at all. Probably because every time I shut my eyes, I was back there, in that bank in Denver. I push myself out of bed anyway and start toward the bathroom. I look myself over in the mirror to find bloodshot eyes staring back at me. There are dark circles under them, and they make me look twice as old as I am. What in the hell did Nina see in me anyway? I mean, look at me. I keep my hair short, so the gray fades in a little better, and I have wrinkles around the corners of my eyes and between my brows. I’m not the guy she needs in her life. She needs someone young who can keep up with her.

I splash some water on my face, brush my teeth, and pull on my uniform before taking off toward the station. At least today is Saturday. I don’t think Nina works on Saturdays, and I’m thankful I get a little peace today. I don’t have to look at her and know all the hurt I’ve caused her. I don’t have to worry about trying to avoid her. I can just go in and do my job, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Keep myself busy, so maybe I can tire myself out enough to sleep better tonight.

I stop and grab a coffee and a donut. I scarf the donut down before I park my truck and climb out, taking the coffee in with me. I walk in and stop in my tracks when I see Nina bent over another desk, working out a computer problem. But she isn’t dressed as she normally would be. She’s wearing a pair of tight, black yoga pants, tennis shoes, and a gray top that hangs low under her arms, showing off her black sports bra. Her blondehair is pulled up high, showing me the slender neck of hers that my lips were just against last night.

My body wants to carry me over to her, pull her against me, and kiss her like she’s never been kissed before, right here in front of everyone, but I hold back and force myself to walk into my office instead.

Two weeks have passed,and I haven’t talked to Nina once. I’ve seen her around work, but she turns and walks in the other direction every time. She hasn’t come to our Friday night playtime at The Place either. I take everyone for drinks, and I bring in coffee, donuts, and other baked goods, but nothing lures her out of the dark hole she keeps herself locked in. It’s about time for the city council meeting, and I’m not sure if she still wants me to speak on behalf of the police station.

I try to work up the courage to ask her while we’re at work, but she ends up taking off early before I have the chance. The meeting is Tuesday night. There are only a few days left, and I need to know so I can prepare a speech. When I leave the station, I drive straight past my house and head to hers. I raise my hand and knock on the door. She answers it, wearing a tiny pair of Nike shorts and a Nike sports bra. Her skin is covered in beads of sweat rolling down her neck and between her breasts. I look her over and lick my lips.

Her eyes are wide. “Can I help you?” she asks, annoyance leaking through her voice.

“Uhhhh, yeah.” I shake my head, hoping to clear it of all thoughts. “I was just wondering if you still wanted me to speak atthe meeting on Tuesday night. After what happened between us, I thought you might not want me there.”

She lets out a nervous laugh. “Nothing happened between us, Bryce. We’re still just as close as we ever were. And about the meeting,” She holds up her hand and lets it fall. “Use your judgment. If you want to come, then come. And if you don’t, just blow it off. But it would mean a lot to me if you helped me see this thing through. This isn’t about me; this is about the town and helping the kids get what they need.”

I nod. “Okay, I’ll be there.”

This time, she gives me a genuine smile. “Okay, thank you.”

I nod and turn to leave, but at the last second, I spin back around. I look down at her while she looks up at me. Her chest starts rising and falling quicker, like having me this close is making it hard to breathe. “Nina,” I start.

“Bryce.”

I wet my lips. “You and me, that night, it was amazing,” I breathe out.

“It was,” she agrees.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. And well, I’ve been trying to talk myself out of wanting you.”

“How’s that going for you?” She leans against the doorframe and crosses her arms, making her breasts press together.

“Not good,” I admit. “Every time I see you, I just want to pull you against me and kiss you senseless. I want to push up those little skirts you’ve been wearing and slide into you, not pulling out until you beg me to.”

Something is charging between us. It’s drawing us closer together. I’m just as breathless as she is as I imagine my words being acted out.

“Then do it,” she whispers, and it’s all the permission I need.

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