Page 52 of Rogue

It’s that I need him to believe I meant everything I ever told him.

He’s standing beside his huge bike when I catch up to him. The saddle bags hanging off the sides are bulging, probably because they carry all he owns. I’ve kept tabs on him all these years, as best I could, and did what I could for him from afar, because I couldn’t acknowledge him as the friend he is to me. If things were different, if he hadn’t lost his mind the way he did with that priest, he would be running this MC with me. Possibly even instead of me.

“Zane, wait,” I say.

He stops moving, but keeps his back turned on me.

“You’re making a fool of yourself in front of your club, running after me like this,” he says.

“I don’t think so,” I say. “Come back inside. Let’s have a drink together. For old times’ sake.”

He turns, his lips curled up into a snarl. “Old times are nothing I want to remember. I don’t need your pity, Gabriel. I got your answer.”

“Not giving you a place here with us is what I have to do,” I tell him. “Not what I want to do. You made your choice. And now I have to make this one.”

No one followed us outside and I’m glad for it. This whole conversation should’ve been held in private. Between friends.

“It’s the only way we can do the good we do,” I say.

“I did good killing that priest,” he says. “He was a predator and no one saw it. He had already ruined many lives and he would’ve ruined many more. Even if no one else believed me, I expected you to believe me.”

I didn’t then and I’m still not sure I should. Nothing ever indicated Father August was what Zane claimed he was. Even back then, Zane showed his dark side. Now, I’m afraid it’s all there is to the man he’d become.

“What do you need from me?” I ask. “Money? A place to lay low for a while? You can have that.”

He shakes his head, his face tightening into a grimace of anger, the only unguarded emotion he’s displayed there since he got here.

“I told you what I want,” he says and mounts his bike. “I want to be your brother again. But that’s more than you can give.”

I close the distance between us and grab his arm to stop him leaving. “You are my brother. Nothing will ever change that.”

He shrugs off my grip, chuckles darkly and revs his bike. The prospect manning the gate gives me a questioning look.

“Let him go,” I yell over the rumbling of Zane’s bike.

He does.

And I just stand there, staring at the gate long after it’s closed again and the rumbling of Zane’s bike isn’t even an echo anymore. Truth is, I never stopped wishing that things had gone different between Zane and me. But he’s a wanted man. A killer on the run. And he’s added considerably to his body count over the years.

The day I let him return to the MC—the club he founded as much as I did—is the day we can say goodbye to working with the authorities.

And that’s just the sad truth that didn’t need rehashing tonight. Because it changed nothing. Just added another layer to the regret of it all.

24

Melody

I woke up alone in the large bed, Rogue’s side still warm to the touch. For a while I just lay there, gazing out the large windows overlooking the blanket of lights that is LA in the distance. I thought he’d be right back. That he’d leave a note if he planned to be gone for long. But then his side of the bed grew colder and colder and I started growing more and more awake. And anxious for some reason.

Probably because of the way I rushed here after my run-in with Unholy at the ER. Back in Pleasantville, while I still lived at the Devil’s Nightmare MC clubhouse, the one thing I never lacked was safety and protection. Maybe love and a happily ever after wasn’t in the cards for me there, but I never had to worry about getting hurt.

With Rogue I feel the same. Even though I’ve only known him for a couple of weeks. And realizing that was the reason I started feeling more and more foolish as the minutes spent waiting for him turned into almost an hour.

But I would’ve continued waiting if I hadn’t heard his voice through floating up from the courtyard and through the halfopen window. And as I heard the voice answering him, my blood literally froze in my veins.

Unholy’s voice was every bit as arrogant as he sounded back at the ER. And even though I couldn’t understand everything they were saying, I knew it couldn’t possibly be anything good. They sounded like they’ve known each other a long time too, like friends.

I could literally see the dream I had for Rogue and me spending the rest of our lives together turn bleak and hollow as I dressed in the dark.

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