Page 105 of Bound to the Shadow Prince

I hate that he’s right. I hate that every option we have is a bad one. We can slowly starve to death here, serving the needs of our people and our goddess, or we can selfishly abandon the tower and hope we won’t be flayed alive for doing so. “You really want us to leave?”

“No,” he says slowly. “I will leave. You will stay.”

“B-but,” I sputter. “The goddess requires both of us to stay. The rule is broken if either one of us leaves the tower. Neither of us can leave.”

“I will not let you die,” Nemeth says, his voice low and deadly, his hand possessive as it rests upon my thigh.

I don’t want to die. Not in the slightest. Not when my life feels far more meaningful now that Nemeth is in it. But I don’t know that we have any other options. To leave would incur the wrath of the goddess. She would destroy our people with fierce storms, flooding our fields and striking villages down with plague. Everyone suffers if she is not satisfied with our sacrifice. So no, I don’t particularly want to die, but I don’t see what choice we have. “My life doesn’t matter in comparison to the thousands of my people—and yours, too—that will be affected?—”

“I will not let youdie,” Nemeth repeats. “It is not going to happen.”

“Nemeth—”

“If I leave, the pact is broken. That we cannot get around. But if it is only me that emerges from the tower, you will be spared. The anger of both of our peoples will fall solely upon my shoulders. You will be innocent…and you will be saved.”

“Nemeth,no.” My horror grows as I realize what he’s referring to. I’d forgotten that in the past, when someone has left the tower early, the people would take revenge on them. The second Vestalin to serve in the tower was martyred, stabbed a hundred and twenty times when he arrived in his homeland, his corpse hanged from an ash tree. One hundred years later,Tinaria Vestalin attempted to flee the tower to see her children, and was killed by an angry mob, her head placed on a pike at the gates of Castle Lios.

If we leave the tower, there is no safe place for us in this world. We will be blamed for every injustice that falls upon the land for the next generation. We cannot do it.

I’m not going to let that happen to Nemeth. “Absolutely not.”

“You do not have a choice in this, Candra. It is decided.”

“Dragon shite,” I snap at him, pushing his hand off my leg. I get to my feet, and my head swims. Nausea rises, but I ignore it. If I get sick right now, it’ll just reinforce that he’s right and I’m so weak he needs to rescue me. Well, he’s the only thing that’s kept me here all this time. “If you walk out those doors, I’m going to be one pace behind you.”

Nemeth huffs with irritation, also getting to his feet. He looms over me, trying to look forbidding, but I know him far too well to be intimidated. “Do not be stubborn about this, Candra.”

“Mestubborn? You’re the one that’s talking about walking out the door and becoming a martyr. I’m not going to let you sacrifice yourself to an ugly fate. If you go, you’re not going to go alone.” The more I roll the idea around in my head, the more I like it. I won’t let Nemeth leave on his own. If he wants to leave this tower, he’s going to have to take me with him.

His tone turns placating.“Candra, love. If I know you’resafe?—”

“How safe do you think I am with the doors wide open?” I gesture at the distant stairs. “How long before someone else arrives to attack me? Better yet, how long do you think I’ll be able to take care of myself as my medicine dwindles? How long before I can’t get out of bed? What if I die waiting for you to come back?”

He flinches as if I’ve struck him. His big hands fist at his sides. “Don’tsaysuch things.”

“What, don’t say the truth?” I put my hands on my hips, glaring up at him. “Don’t point out the obvious? Nemeth, you’ve already been doing most of the housekeeping in our tower. You cook all the meals. You take care of me when I’m sick. And this is when I’m on just a half-dose of my potion. What happens when I run lower? When I can only dose myself every three days? Every four?”

I don’t point out that I’ll probably die if it takes four days. Whatever poison is in my blood will destroy me before then.

He growls furiously at me, grabbing me by my shoulders. His hands are tight, but gentle. “Stop.”

“Stop speaking the truth? You know I’m right, Nemeth.” I put my hands on his, feeling the need to touch him. To anchor him. “If you leave this tower, we need to go together. There’s no point in you leaving only for me to die from being left behind.” I rub his wrists. “And if there are consequences, I’d rather face them together than apart.”

Nemeth sinks to a crouch in front of me, his hands sliding to my waist. His legs fold in that strange way of theirs and then he tugs me forward, into his embrace. His head rests upon my breasts, and he holds me tight. I slide my arms around him, stroking those strange, sweeping horns of his. “I feel as if I am dooming you no matter what I choose,” he says, voice thick with emotion. “If I leave you or if I stay, I feel as if you will die either way. And if I leavewithyou, I am putting you in new danger.”

“Then let me choose my fate,” I say softly, fingers playing on the cluster of horns. “If we’re to be risking our lives, I’d rather do so at your side. We can spend a few days preparing to leave. We can pack bags and prepare for the next step. Then we’ll leave this place together, hand in hand.”

“I cannot ask that of you.”

My hands tighten around him. “Then let me beg you. Please don’t leave me behind, Nemeth. Please.” My voice breaks, andI’m perilously on the edge of tears. “I don’t care if we make the entire world mad at us. I just want to be at your side. Your mate, forever…just like you promised me.”

He angles his face up to gaze at me, his eyes tormented. “Don’t cry, love. Please. We’ll go together, then. If you would be with me in this?—”

“I would,” I say quickly.

“—then I would be honored.” He leans into my touch, his eyes closing. “I will not put you in danger, though.”

I don’t point out that we’re always in danger anyhow. Here, we’re in danger of starving. Outside, we’re in danger of angering the gods. “We’ll prepare to leave. Pack our things. Prepare meals. Ready our clothes. Make a heaping dose of medicine. And then we’ll leave together and face the future. Together.”

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