Without the sled, I can’t have my medicine.

Without my medicine, I’ll die.

I sink into a puddle of skirts near the sled and stare at it, numb. Tears of sheer frustration threaten.

You can cry about this later, I remind myself. Tomorrow, when you’ve had a nice fire and you’ve made another batch of medicine. You can weep all you want tomorrow.

Normally the pep talk works. Normally I can put off crying. Today is not that day. Exhausted, I burst into noisy tears andsob into my hands. I feel helpless and miserable and so damned alone.

And I can’t make a fire to save my life.

I trulycan’t.

The realization just makes me cry harder, and I let myself weep over the entire situation—over my sister’s death and the destruction of my life. Over being trapped here. Over cold baths and meals of raw turnips and the fact that my arm is permanently bruised from my clumsy injections. That even Balon has given up on me. That I’ve still got so far to go before I’m free and I won’t make it. That I’m going to die in this cold, lonely tower, alone and forgotten.

I cry and cry, until I’ve got nothing left. And then I cry some more.

I hear the rustle of leathery wings before I see the green eyes. “Candra.”

Not him. Not now. Not when I’m at my most vulnerable.

“Piss off,” I choke out. “You’re not wanted here, Fellian.”

To my relief, he doesn’t mock me. He just slinks back into the shadows, green eyes disappearing.

Good.

Chapter

Twenty

Imake my medicine last four days. I tap the glass tube and squeeze every droplet out, adding a bit of water to each dose to make it last. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m low on options. I don’t eat much, either. I just lie in bed and gnaw on a turnip when I’m hungry, sip a bit of water, and then go back to lying down again. The less I move about, the less vital my medicine is…or so I hope.

Nurse would have a fit if she could see me now.

Thinking about Nurse makes me lonely. I think about Nurse, and Riza, and all of the others that took care of me on a daily basis and I took for granted. I want to hug all of them and apologize for being spoiled. I want to shower them with affection and gifts so they know how much they mean to me. I want to gohome. I want to go home so badly it’s a physical ache in my chest.

On the fifth day, I wake up and immediately lose the contents of my stomach. Sweating, dizzy, I know it’s because I’ve been skimping on my medicine. I’m destroying myself slowly, and I need to do something about it.

Today, I decide, sitting up. I’m going to conquer that sled today. I’m going to make it into firewood, and I’m going to make myself a huge batch of medicine, enough to last at least a week,and then I’m going to figure something out. I’m not going to let this beat me.

I get to my feet, blackness creeping before my eyes. I blink it away and hold onto the bed frame until the shakiness in my limbs goes away. I chew on a bit of dried meat and take a bite of turnip as I tighten the laces of my dress and slip on my shoes. Once I’m ready, I carefully pick up my glowing orb and carry it downstairs with me, my knife tucked into the bodice of my dress, safely between my breasts. I’ve never let it out of my sight, not since that day that Nemeth stole it from me.

When I get to the bottom floor, though, I have to blink a few times to make certain my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me. I walk to the spot where I left the sled…but there’s nothing there.

It’s gone.

I shine my light and walk the large room, just in case I’m dizzier than I thought and I’ve missed something. But no, there’s no sled at all. It’s gone, the only proof that it was ever here the recent scratch marks on the stone floor.

Nemeth stole it. It has to be him.

He’s taken the last of my firewood, and with that, he’s killed me. I take a deep breath, fighting back nausea. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m overreacting. “Knife,” I say, panting as I lean against the wall. My limbs feel weak and sluggish, and it’s just going to get worse. “Was it Nemeth? Did he take it?”

The magic blade pulses once.Yes.

Dragon shite. Now I have to go kill a Fellian.

Chapter