Page 163 of Bound to the Shadow Prince

Impossible.

Isn’t it?

I think of our interactions in the tower. How we’d both wanted nothing to do with each other at first. How Nemeth had saved my life and I’d found it puzzling. How annoyed he’d seemingly been at sharing space with me…until we’d fallen in love. How he wouldn’t touch me unless we were mated. He’dinsisted.

And then I think of the time I’d woken up to hear him talking to the altar, “confessing” to the gods.

How he’d openly admitted to me that he’d spied on me at his brother’s command.

All those little memories flit through my mind and fill me with terror. Have I been betrayed? Played like a musical instrument by the person I love most in this world? But if that’s the case, why did he save me so many times? Why did he let theintruders attack him in order to protect me if it’s all a farce? His wing was torn. He’d thought he’d never fly again.

He’d done that for me. Sacrificed himself for me.

Time and time again, Nemeth had shared his food with me, even when it meant we’d both go hungry. How could this possibly be his plan? I shake my head. “You’re wrong. He loves me.”

Riza bites her lip and glances up at Tolian.

“Prince Nemeth was sent at a very young age to the Alabaster Citadel so he could learn how to be the Royal Offering,” Tolian says, voice neutral. “A short time ago, it was decided that Nemeth was too scholarly to woo a princess. That the Princess Meryliese of Lios viewed him as a friend and not a potential lover. So he was sent home and Ajaxi was to take his place in the tower. For whatever reason, they changed their minds a month prior to the solstice, and Nemeth was sent back to the Alabaster Citadel once more as the offering.”

Ice spreads through my veins. Nemethhadmentioned that.

“His training at the citadel included courtship and human wooing customs,” Tolian continues. “How to please a female. I’m told he wasn’t a good student at these particular lessons, preferring to read war poetry instead, but I’m sure some of it sank in.”

I think of the onion he’d made me, studded with peppercorns. He’d acted like it was such a silly custom. He’d asked me to tell him about our customs…had he already known them? Was he just toying with me?

“Apparently Ivornath was quite happy when he learned you were sent in place of Meryliese. It was rumored that Meryliese was cold and temperamental and you were considered…”

He pauses.

“Easy?” I ask, trying to keep the bitterness from my voice. This isn’t true, I tell myself over and over again. It’s not true. It’s all a lie to pull me away from Nemeth. To turn me against him.

“Yes,” Tolian says. “That you were a less, ah, virtuous sort. That you enjoyed flirting games. My spies tell me that the brothers instructed Nemeth to be standoffish for a time, because that would intrigue you and then you’d fall into his arms?—”

“Stop. Please, stop.” I close my eyes. I’m dying inside. I’m dying, because all of the little things Tolian says that were part of their plans are matching up with my memories, and I’m withering, my heart turning to ash in my chest.

Nemeth loves me. He does.

“They wanted you on their side in case of war,” Tolian continues, heedless of my plea. “A Vestalin princess sympathetic to Darkfell’s cause would be a blow to the Liosian king. It would sow doubt amongst the commoners. It would bring them to our side. You have always been a tool that the First House intended upon using, Princess Candromeda. I am sorry to be the bearer of such messages, but they are the truth.”

Messages.

Nemeth wouldn’t let me see the messages from Riza. He wouldn’t tell me why, either.

He knew.

He’s been hiding me ever since we arrived here. It’s like a knife in my heart.

“He’s always been their creature, Candra. I’m sorry.” Riza’s gaze is full of sympathy. Her hand brushes against her mate’s. “I didn’t realize you trusted him so. I thought you were with him simply because you had no other options. That you were using him and not the other way around.”

I flinch at her words, because I feel incredibly stupid. I’ve always prided myself on being flirty and seductive, winsome and appealing despite my barrenness that makes me so ineligiblefor marriage. That it didn’t matter because I could make men want me regardless…and yet I’ve been completely taken in by a scholarly Fellian who pretended to be reluctant.

Pretended to be falling for me.

This is why he didn’t want me to see Riza. He didn’t want me to know everyone was laughing behind my back. “I need to talk to Nemeth.”

“Wait,” Riza blurts, jumping to her feet. “Please, Candra. Before you return to his side, I must beg a favor of you. Don’t tell him of our plans. Don’t tell him that you’ve spoken to me, or to Tolian.”

“If First House knows that Second House is plotting against them, we will be executed for treason,” Tolian says in a grave voice. “And if I am killed, there will be no one to protect Riza.”

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