Because I know?—
 
 I won’t be able to sleep.
 
 And I won’t be able to stop this feeling growing in my gut.
 
 Something is wrong.
 
 And I think?—
 
 I think I’m running out of time.
 
 I don’t sleep.
 
 I sit in my dimly lit apartment, curled up on the couch with my phone in my hands, staring at the screen as if I can will my mother to text me back.
 
 Nothing.
 
 I try to distract myself—picking up a book, watching the flickering streetlights outside, even turning on the TV at low volume. But my mind is a restless storm, circling the same thought over and over again.
 
 She’s gone.
 
 And it’s my fault.
 
 I rub my stomach absentmindedly, a small movement that has become second nature. The babies shift inside me, and the reminder makes my throat tighten.
 
 I can’t justwait.
 
 What if she’s trying to reach me? What if she lost her phone? What if she’s stranded somewhere? The what-ifs claw at me, scraping away my common sense.
 
 I reach for my phone and do the one thing I told myself I wouldn’t do.
 
 I call her.
 
 Not on our usual burner number, but on her real number.
 
 The one she never uses anymore.
 
 The one I know is dangerous.
 
 I hit call.
 
 The line rings.
 
 And rings.
 
 And then?—
 
 Aclick.
 
 My heart leaps into my throat. “Mom?”
 
 A long, dragging silence.
 
 I swallow hard. “Mom, if you’re there?—”
 
 Breathing.
 
 Slow. Even.