Page 88 of Tangled in Vows

He knows writing songs is the easiest way for me to let out my emotions. It’s always been my thing. Writing whatever is on your mind is easy, especially since no one will see it. Saying the words out loud lends them a vulnerability I’m not ready for at that stage.

“Hurricane.”

Holden’s gaze is empty, yet too full, a dam ready to fracture.

“Fuck. This wasn’t how I planned to tell you, but I can’t stand this any longer.” His lips part, hesitate, then press shut again, trembling enough to betray his emotions.

My nails dig into my palms until I’m sure they leave marks, and my muscles shift under my skin, bracing for impact. If my gut is correct, this won’t be pretty.

Whatever happens, I’ll get through this.

I’m a tough cookie and have survived worse.

It’ll all be okay.

Right now, I just have to get through it to come out on the other side.

I balance on my heels, my shoulders curled inward. “Please just tell me, Holden.”

The words are barely a whisper, but I know he heard me.

“It kills me that you think I could have just left you behind easily. I . . .” He lifts one of his hands as if to touch me before dropping it again. “Shit. The reason I left is because I went to prison.”

Wait. What?

He went to prison?

Holden drags his palms down his pant legs. “I went to prison because I killed Felix. I’m the reason he’s dead.”

Felix was killed.

My stomach lurches like something rotten is inside it, the same way it always does when I hear that name. My skin prickles with goosebumps, but confusion tries to poke through the disgust and dread, trying to process the other half of what Holden said.

Time seems to slow down to a crawl as I blink at him, because he just said he killed Felix, right?

Or did I misunderstand?

I shake my head, trying to clear the fog in my brain. “I’m . . . I’m sorry. What did you just say?”

This time, he doesn’t hesitate. “I went to prison because I killed Felix. That’s the reason why I left.”

Oh my God, he really did say that.

My heart kicks against my ribs, its rhythm erratic and sharp like a bird got trapped inside. A wave of dizziness rushes through me, and I thoughtlessly reach out to steady myself. “I think I need to sit down.”

Holden grabs my arm, but I don’t look at him. I can’t.

“Are you okay?” His voice is soft, almost pleading.

Grateful for the help, I cling to his arm, close my eyes, and inhale deeply several times. “I just need a moment, please.”

“Can you walk a few steps? There’s a small bench over there.”

I have no idea where over there is, nor do I particularly care, but I nod anyway. “Sure.”

Holden guides me while I keep my eyes downcast.

“Here. Sit down.”

---