Page 73 of Tangled in Vows

Maybe.

But with the emotional roller coaster lately, it might be time for a pity party. Maybe that’ll help get rid of it all.

“I’m absolutely terrified this thing with Olivia won’t end well. Especially once she finds out the truth.”

Since the mixer was on, I only heard the last snippet of their conversation. They were obviously talking about me, but about what exactly? What’s going on between Holden and me? Or this whole stalker mess? I’m unsure how much Holden has shared with Archer or what they might hide from me.

“Did something happen?” The words are out of my mouth before I can overthink them. I don’t need more on my plate, but I also don’t want to be kept in the dark.

Holden’s forehead creases. “No. Why?”

I shrug. “Just wondering. You look like something bad happened.”

“I think there’s been enough going on as it is.”

I nod, listening to the clanging coming from the kitchen. “Is Archer cooking?”

“Baking. He does that when he’s stressed.”

My eyebrows rise. “Wow. Can’t say I expected that.”

There’s a fondness in Holden’s eyes when he says, “His grandma used to bake a lot with him, and then we’d all reap the benefits from it. She was the best.”

“I think you mentioned her before. Was she the one whose house you spent a lot of time at after school?”

Holden nods and smiles. “Yeah, that was her.”

“You told me she was a great woman, and I’m glad you had her. Everyone should have good people in their life.”

“You’re right.”

I know some of Holden’s past, but not a lot. It was only him, his mom, and his sister. No dad. From the way he talked about them, he was only close with his sister, until she was ripped away from him during an accident with her boyfriend. It was eerily similar to what happened to my parents when a drunk driver took them from me. Contrary to Holden’s situation though, my mom and dad were the best, fun-loving, and lovable parents I could have hoped for.

After their accident, the state sent me to live with my aunt in her unconventional and unprogressive off-the-grid community. I went from a home where I knew nothing but love and acceptance to one where I was too wild, too loud, and too everything. I never fit in, no matter how much I tried or how they pushed and punished me.

Something rattles in the kitchen, pulling me out of my thoughts. Muttered curses follow the noise.

I chuckle. “Is he okay?”

Holden smirks. “Yeah. Trust me, we’d be hearing it otherwise.”

Trust me.

I know he didn’t mean it in the literal sense, but do I trust him? Between all the crap happening with the naked guy in my condo, the bouquet during the photo shoot, the club incident and delivered photo threat after, and my breakdown over Felix, things have slowly shifted.

I’m not as on edge around him anymore. Calmer. Not as snarky either. And as much as I try not to suppress it, he sometimes makes me laugh. Then there’s the dang attraction. With each passing second, I seek more of his closeness, comfort, and body. Occasionally, I catch myself wanting to touch him, even if it’s just a tiny gesture like laying my hand on his arm.

I’m screwed.

And worst of all, I don’t want to hate him anymore. Not that I ever really did. But I’m tired of being mad. It’s exhausting to hold on to those negative emotions for so long.

Maybe that makes me slightly delusional and stupid even to consider letting him fully in, yet I can’t help but wonder what would happen if things worked out somehow.

Forgiveness isn’t easy, but neither is loneliness.

While not everyone deserves a second chance, shouldn’t I at least give him the benefit of the doubt? Even if that means putting my heart on the line?

You could get your best friend back and the man you secretly had a crush on.

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