Page 32 of Tangled in Vows

“Yes, Hold.” Evie pokes him in the chest. “I still can’t believe you are married.”

Holden rubs a hand over his beard. “Well, I guess it was a big surprise to all of us.” His gaze flicks to me before returning to his friends. “But let’s not talk about it anymore.”

Right. He doesn’t want to bitch about how he’s stuck with me for the next six months while I’m standing right here.

Well, if he had stuck around like a decent person, we could have gotten divorced like normal people, avoiding this stupid situation altogether.

But he didn’t.

The reminder has angry heat crawling up my neck, and I yank my hand out of his.

Why on earth was I still holding it anyway?

The grasp on my forget-me box weakens, letting more resentment over the past and this ludicrous situation slip out. Everything around me suddenly moves in slow motion, and I grow dizzy. Cold sweat forms on my neck, and spots pepper my vision.

I mumble some excuse and mindlessly stumble toward the hallway from where we came earlier. The restrooms must be back there.

I need to escape. I have to put a lid on this.

You can’t have pictures of you looking drunk out of your mind again.

A women’s restroom sign is up ahead. I sigh with relief and shove open the door. Finally, a minute to breathe and compose myself. The second the thought flits through my mind, someone else walks in behind me. Evie must have followed me. But of course, it’s not her but Holden.

He locks the door behind him and stares at where I stand, unmoving. At least it’s a single-person bathroom. And clean. A perk of this VIP area I’m extra grateful for right now.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Holden rakes a hand through his hair until strands loosen from his bun, but he either doesn’t notice or care. After some pacing, he stops mere inches away from me.

My chest is getting crushed in a vise. “Hold, please, I just . . . I just need a damn moment. Okay?”

He stares at me, his eyes so full of sorrow that it might as well be a punch to my gut.

What is going on?

Before I have time to ask, he captures my face gently in his palms. “Fuck, Hurricane. I’m doing everything wrong. Nomatter what I do, I just . . . I want to . . . Damn it . . . Every time I think I do something good, it turns into shit somehow.” He heaves a sigh and swallows. “If I thought it was enough, if I could explain things, tell you everything . . . fuck . . . I want to sink to my knees and beg for your forgiveness. More than anything, I want you to forgive me. Even if I don’t deserve it.”

Giving me no time to react, he presses his forehead against mine and continues, “But it’s not enough. Nothing will ever be enough. No apology. I . . . I don’t think I can fix what’s broken between us, and I hate it. And I’m so sorry.” His voice breaks at the last word. “So fucking sorry, Hurricane. Leaving you . . . without a goodbye or explanation . . . it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. And knowing how much I hurt you kills me a bit more every day.”

His voice has lost all its power.

I’ve never seen him this way before.

So raw. So broken.

“Then why did you? Why did you leave me? I thought you were my friend.” Heat builds behind my eyelids. I squeeze them closed, fighting to push the painful emotions back down where they belong. “You were all I had. The only person in my life, and then you . . . you . . . you just abandoned me like I was nothing. A no one. Not worth a single thing.”

I don’t even recognize my voice as I force out each agonizing word. It’s shattered. Wrecked.

Just like me.

Forbidden tears run down my cheeks, and I wipe at them furiously. I hate every single one of them.

“No.” He shakes his head repeatedly, his entire face sagging. “No, no, no. I swear it was the exact opposite. Everything I did was for you. To keep you safe. To protect you. You were all I could think about. My number one priority.”

My head is spinning.

His thumbs wipe over my cheeks. “Breathe, baby.”

At his words, I gasp. Oxygen floods my lungs, easing the pressure in my chest.

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