Page 113 of Tangled in Vows

Dealing head-on with the pain is excruciating. But there’s no avoiding it when I’m thrown back to that devastating period five years ago every time I stand in front of the microphone. Whenever Ian tells me to put more emotion into it, I want to yell at him and cry simultaneously.

Seeing Holden helps. He’s there during my breaks, ensuring I’m well-fed and cared for. After I’m spent from the emotional drain of the day, he holds me in his arms every night, offering me the comfort I need and earth-shattering orgasms. Every single touch of his is gentle, as if he knows it’s all I’m able to handle now.

“And we’re all done.” Ian’s voice sounds in my headphones, and he gives me an enthusiastic thumbs-up through the glass that separates me from him in the studio.

This home studio has been my absolute safe haven. Never in my life have I had such a place just to be. I’m not kicked out because the next act is on the schedule, and I don’t have to hurry because the label is breathing down my neck.

I exhale deeply and join Ian behind the mixing desk. He’s pushing buttons, moving dials, entirely focused on one of the screens before him.

“I’m not kidding. This will be your biggest hit.” He turns to me. “No offense, but I’ve never heard you sing this way. It’s next level, Olivia.”

“Thank you,” I say in a whisper. I try to give him a small smile, unsure if I succeed. It’s not his fault this song was never supposed to see the light of day. Or that I’m so drained I’m not sure whether I should sleep for the next week straight or if I need a distraction of epic proportions to take my mind off things.

He clicks a few buttons, and the slow, haunting melody of the song starts playing. My voice fills the room through the speakers, and Ian is right. I’ve never sounded like this before. It’s probably because none of my other songs were ever this personal. There are other songs about Holden, but they aren’t as deep or as raw as this one, making them less taxing on me.

You were my safe place, the ground beneath my feet.

The arms I could fall into, the one who set me free.

I close my eyes as my mind conjures images of Holden. But this time, they aren’t the agonizing ones from back then. This time, they’re from this morning when I woke up. The way he smiled at me the second I opened my eyes, and the way his fingers cupped my cheeks right before his lips softly pressed against mine.

He’s replacing all the bad memories with new ones. Happy ones. Breaking down the old hurt piece by piece with his presence alone.

The song comes to an end, and Ian awkwardly pats my shoulder.

“You did good, Olivia. No more crying, please.”

I wipe the wetness off my face. I didn’t even realize I’d started to cry, maybe because the sad tears turned into happy tears, a final release of the bad.

Things with Holden would have improved regardless, but purging my heart of these emotions made me realize how much old hurt I was still holding on to. Now that it’s gone, I can’t remember the last time I felt this light—this weightless.

And eager to move on.

Look how far you and Holden have come as a couple.

I laugh awkwardly and sniffle. “Sorry. I know it’s been a lot this week.”

Ian shakes his head. “There’s nothing you need to apologize for. You sang your heart out for this song, and it shows. People will eat it up.” After scrutinizing me some more, he adds, “And it seems this song was long overdue.”

He’s right. It was.

“Well, I better get going.” Ian stands, stretching his short, round frame after sitting in the chair for too many hours.

His stomach rumbles loudly, and we both laugh.

I absentmindedly pat my own empty stomach. “I’m sorry, I should have fed you more. Will you stay for dinner?”

“No, I’m good, thank you. Donny is already on it. He just messaged it’ll be ready by the time I get home.”

“That boyfriend of yours is a catch.”

Ian’s cheeks redden. “He really is, isn’t he?”

I nod. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.” He raises his eyebrows. “Although, I should say the same to you. I mean, have you seen that hunk of a man you’ve got there? And not just a boyfriend, but a husband?”

He laughs and holds his midsection while my brain is replaying his words.

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