Page 105 of Tangled in Vows

Chapter 33

Holden

Day 1190 without you: Knowing your dream came true gives me the strength to survive without you.

Talking about my regrets and failures never gets any easier. “I wanted to do what was best for you.”

I wish I could see her face while we talk, but it might be better this way. Some conversations are easier without eye contact.

“How so?” The question is quiet. She doesn’t sound angry this time, just curious.

And thank fuck for that. I can handle curiosity because she deserves to know what happened. That was never the problem.

But while we’re in a safe space now, or at least I hope we are, the words I need to say still twist my gut whenever I think about the past, the pain sharp and heavy. Weighed down by the fear of destroying me, or worse, us.

My pulse quickens, and I hate every second of it. “I knew things didn’t go well with your aunt and the community, but I always suspected there was more you didn’t tell me.”

She hisses quietly at my words, and I wonder if she remembers the nightmare she had that I witnessed and what she told me after she woke up.

“He . . . he . . . Felix didn’t listen and wouldn’t let me go. None of them would.”

This entire time, I’d hoped Felix had lied to me the night I met him. That he only said those vile words to taunt me. But while Olivia hasn’t brought it up again or told me the whole story, the little she said had destroyed the shred of hope I’d held on to. I purposefully didn’t mention it as I told her what happened with Felix either.

I brush my hand over her hair, needing to touch her, hoping to soothe her. “You deserved something good after all the shit in your life. You were so talented and had so much potential, clearly meant for great things. Being associated with me and a murder would have taken that opportunity from you before you ever had a chance to show the world how amazing you are.”

She moves off my chest and shifts until she’s on the pillow beside me. Facing me. Apparently, we’re having this conversation with eye contact, after all.

The bridge between her brows scrunches together. “But how did I never hear about this? And how did no one ever question me? We were married.”

“Still are.” The words slip out.

And you finally consummate the marriage after almost six years. Congratulations.

I push the thought away—bad timing.

Her gaze softens, and she nods. “Yes, we still are.”

That’s all she gives me, so I focus on her questions. “Archer deserves all the credit for that. Even back then, his hacking skills were off the charts, and he managed to alter my name in their system so that no one could trace it to you. I owe him a lot, but I’ll never be able to repay him for that.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” I sigh, thinking about the stupid fight I had with him earlier. “He’s the best. He still makes sure nothing resurfaces, so there’s no mention of what happened anywhere online. It was pure luck my trial never received much media attention back then because other, bigger incidents were happening. That made it easier for Archer to stay on top of things.”

Her lips make a quietpopsound as she releases them. “It’s crazy he can do something like that, and a bit scary, but again . . . wow.”

I chuckle quietly. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

She looks toward the ceiling. “So, Holden Donahue never went to prison then?”

“Unmarried, and now deceased, Holden Dennis Donahae went to prison but not married Holden Parker Donahue.”

Her mouth drops. “Not to sound like a total moron, but wow.”

“You should hear him when he talks about what he can do. I’m decent with computers, and yet it still sounds as if it’s an entirely different language to me. He’s on a separate planet with his skills.”

She lifts her hand and rakes her fingers through my hair. Her fingernails hit my scalp and comb through the strands, causing my eyelids to close of their own accord. Thank goodness I left it untied earlier after I went to the bathroom because nothing is more soothing, more calming to me, than her touch.

“I’m so happy he’s got those mad skills, and what you did isn’t on your record.”

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