Page 96 of Tangled In Lies

I yank the blanket off me and swing my legs over the side of the bed to stand. My steps are wobbly and uncoordinated. Baby deer steps.

But it doesn’t matter. I need to get to him. I need to see him.

A sob interrupts my accelerated breathing at the very moment the door flies open. Holden rushes toward me, immediately wrapping me into his arms.

“Shh, Princess. You’re okay.”

“Phoenix. I need to . . . I need him.” Loud and ugly sobs ricochet through my entire body. My brain is still halfway stuck in the nightmare that just ripped me out of my sleep.

While Holden’s embrace is soothing, it’s not the one I desperately need.

“I’m here, Angel. I’m right here.”

I’m maneuvered between them until Phoenix’s familiar scent envelops me, and he gently cups my face with his large hands.

“Nightmare?”

I nod and look at him through blurry eyes, reaching out to touch his cheek. To make sure he’s really there and in one piece.

“You’re safe. I swear to you, I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt you.” He leans into my touch and closes his eyes.

I hiccup. “I was so scared he took you from me too. I wouldn’t survive it.”

His eyebrows almost touch as he stares down at me. “Who is he?”

The desperation in his eyes is a living thing, and the urge to tell him about Freddy, about everything, is even stronger than it was earlier.

I open my mouth, but no words come out. The fear coursing through my body is an invisible hand around my throat, cutting off all of my oxygen until I gasp.

Phoenix shares a look with Holden and says, “Let’s get you back in bed.”

My chest squeezes at the mere thought of this happening again.

The images flash behind my eyes. Me getting the text message but being too late. Phoenix glancing at me a nanosecond before the bomb explodes. Phoenix lying on the ground in a pool of blood. Dead.

Why does it have to feel so real?

My limbs shake, and I try to get closer to Phoenix, seeking his comfort and warmth. “Not here. I can’t stay here after the nightmare.”

After a moment of confusion, Phoenix nods. “Of course.”

He says something to Holden before he picks me up gently and exits the room. I rest against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It’s erratic, but focusing on it slowly calms my breathing.

Phoenix moves slowly, with caution. Why does he have to make me feel like I’m precious cargo? We walk down the long hallways to get from one wing to another. In his room, he lays me down carefully on his bed and pulls the covers up to my neck.

Before he has a chance to get up, I grab his arm and hold on to it with the bit of strength I have. “Please don’t go.”

His gaze on me is intense and laced with something. Pain? No. That wouldn’t make any sense.

“I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.” He glances behind him. “I’ll just talk to Hold for a moment by the door.”

Shifting forward, he presses his lips to my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

My dying soul weeps in anguish at the gentle contact. To have the man I’ve wanted for most of my life so close to me, while also having done the most unspeakable and irreversible damage and loss to his life, is its own kind of twisted cruelty.

It’s funny how the same person can be part of your life's happiest and worst memories. Almost like the universe can’t decide if it wants to punish or reward you.

Maybe it’s trying to teach me that life is as beautiful as it is ugly, and without the ugly, we couldn’t experience the beauty.

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