Page 83 of One Short Summer

It’s how I survived tough times before, and the only reason I’m still standing after these last few weeks.

At least everything dance-related has been going well.

It’s opening night for us, and I’ve already participated in a few group numbers, bathing in the feeling of being back on stage in front of an audience.

A thrill that doesn’t compare to anything else, energizing me in a way nothing else ever could. Now I’m all prepped for my solo, but still have some time I plan on spending on the side of the stage, watching my team’s performances.

One of the event coordinators sticks his head through the open door. “You’re up in twenty.”

I don’t even have enough time to nod before he’s gone again, probably off to stick his head into a few other doors, fluttering along before someone can get a good look at him.

The phone vibrates in my hand once more, reminding me my mind can slip faster into nirvana than I can unlock my screen. Talk about getting distracted easily.

My finger slides easily over the smooth surface to see it’s a message from Gabe.

Gabe: The time has come, Princess. Remember what we talked about. You’ve totally got this. You’ll be great.

Deep breath. Small smile. Heavy heart.

Me: Thank you! I’m nervous, but I know it’s gonna be okay once I’m up there. It always is. :)

Getting messages from Gabe always fills me with equal joy and sadness. I’m happy to have him as my best friend because I’d hate to not have him in my life at all, but at the same time, my heart hates me for having him in my life because it can’t heal as fast. Even though I’m still not convinced that possibility will ever be in the cards.

After several pep talks and lots of sleepless nights when I first got to New York, I promised myself to take things one day at a time. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Going back to this crazy dance life with a crew I hadn’t seen for so long, and not knowing the new dancers they added, would have been hard enough to adjust to by itself.

To add to that, I miss my friends from Brooksville like crazy, Gabe especially, and I have to admit I’ve cried myself to sleep more than once.

I regularly speak to Charlie as she keeps me up-to-date about what’s going on with her and the rest of the gang. She wanted to fly out with Hudson and Mira for my first performance here in New York, but she’s had some issues with her blood pressure, and her doctor wants to keep a close eye on her for that reason. It took every ounce of persuasion in me to convince her to stay back home, and that I’d send her videos of my performances.

Gabe and I, we mostly stick to text messages, with the very rare phone call in between. Hearing his voice is still too hard. It makes my insides twist, wishing things would’ve gone differently than they did, but that’s a reality I have to learn to accept somehow down the line.

I’m just not quite there yet.

I quickly realized that talking to either Charlie or Gabe, even the occasional chat with Rose, Dahlia, or anyone else in the family, makes me a little homesick.

Home meaning Brooksville. Definitely a new development in my life, something that has never happened before.

It’s been a lot harder than I thought it would be to leave that part of my life behind, and I can’t deny the fact that I’ve been a bit mopey ever since I said goodbye to Gabe. Well, I more so shouted it at him while hauling my suitcase out to Charlie’s waiting car in the driveway. I knew my heart couldn’t handle a big farewell scene.

I try to focus back on the phone since I know I don’t have a lot of time left.

Being onstage in front of a sold-out crowd is one of the most frightening yet also one of the best and most thrilling experiences I’ve ever had. There’s absolutely nothing that can compare to it, and I didn’t see myself ever getting tired of that feeling either.

Gabe’s reply pulls me out of my thoughts.

Gabe: You’re gonna be outstanding, I have absolutely no doubt about it. Sorry, I have to go, but we’ll talk later, okay? Break a leg!

Before I have a chance to reply, my phone vibrates with another message.

Gabe: Shit. I didn’t think that one through, SORRY. I only meant that metaphorically speaking, of course. Please do NOT break your leg again. For real. I think it might be better if I stop talking now. How about this one? Show them what you’re made of, Princess. Have a great solo! ;)

No one can be as awkward yet still as cute as Gabe. I think it’s a talent on its own, and one he has undoubtedly mastered over the years.

Me: I got it, Charming. LOL. Thank you though, it means a lot that you thought of me. :)

Gabe: Of course! I always do!

Always? Iwish.

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