Page 91 of Baking With A Rockstar

“I’m falling in love with you, Charlie.”

Wait.What?

My lips are moving but no sound is coming out.

All the while, Hudson is staring at me, probably waiting for a reply, or at least some sort of reaction.

“You what?” My voice doesn’t sound like my own. It’s several octaves higher, and my throat feels like it hasn’t felt any liquid in ages.

Taking my hands in his, he gives me one of his breathtaking smiles I can’t ever get enough of. “I’ve been falling for you for quite a while now. It’s been getting more and more intense every day, and I just need you to know. You deserve to know how I feel about you.”

The butterflies in my belly act like they’re on steroids. I’m about to smile back at him, when I see a sudden dull in his gaze—right before his smile drops a little too.

“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?” My insides start cramping up, not wanting to hear anything negative after the beautiful words he just said. My stomach is churning, making me wonder if I could actually make it to the bathroom in time if I had to.

Clearing his throat, his eyes fixate on mine. “You’ve been on my mind from the very first moment I laid eyes on you—and not just because of the whole music thing. You’re different than any woman I’ve ever met, and once I got to know you better, I was completely under your spell. And you didn’t even notice it nor did you seem to care much about it either. Being with you has been incredibly refreshing, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoy every single minute we spend together.” The look in his eyes is warm and soft, but my body doesn’t want to relax yet.

I’m still unsure if his admission makes the situation better or worse right now, knowing there’s still something bad coming—at least that’s what it seems like.

There’s a sudden sparkle in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “And then there’s Mira, making this whole relationship with you and what we have even more special.”

I’m starting to lose the battle with my emotions, his words hitting me straight in the heart. I can’t take it any longer, my throat starting to clog up, my voice already sounding scratchy. “Hudson, please. Just tell me what’s going on.”

He clears his throat again. “You guys mean so much to me, which is why I don’t want to hurt you, especially after knowing what you’ve already had to go through before.”

Tears form in the corners of my eyes, and I try my hardest to hold them back. I’m still utterly confused, and my patience is starting to dwindle too—the tension and anxiety in my body is threatening to take over. “Say it already. I need to know.”

Shaking his head, he scratches the back of his neck. “I’m not doing a good job right now, am I? I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you about all of this for a while, but I didn’t want to scare you off. And now I’m making a complete mess of things.”

I can’t help but exhale the breath of frustration that’s been lodged in my throat.

Dropping my hands unexpectedly, he gets up and starts pacing in front of me. “Crap, I’m really bad at this. All right. Let me start over again.” He stops and goes down on his knees in front of me. “Charlie, I’m utterly in love with you, and I want nothing more than to be with you and Mira, for us to be a family. The time with you two has been some of the best of my life, and I can’t remember the last time I was this content and just...happy. But, I don’t know what my future holds right now, and I’m not sure you want to deal with my crazy life, not knowing what’s going to happen with my career either.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“I want to give you everything you deserve. A partner by your side to help you fulfill your dreams, and someone who can help raise Mira. You should wake up next to someone every morning and go to sleep next to that same person every night, not spend endless nights alone in bed. I don’t want you to go through that. I can’t do that to you. You deserve more than that.”

With that confession, I lose my emotional battle. A few tears flow down my cheeks as I try to keep my sniffles at a minimum.

“No, no. Please don’t cry, sweetheart.” He captures my face in his hands, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. “That’s the last thing I wanted.”

Once I think I can manage to speak again, I hardly recognize my voice, the words barely making it past the big lump in my throat. “Does it not matter at all whatIwant?”

Pausing mid-wipe, he looks at me with his brows furrowed. “Of course it does. You’re what matters the most. I know we haven’t known each other for very long, and you might think I’m crazy, but you’reitfor me. I don’t think I can ever find what I have with you with anyone else. We’ve been spending almost every free minute together from the moment we met, and I’ve never formed a bond like this with another person. What I want more than anything else though, is to see you happy because that’s what you deserve.”

My hands are shaking, and I press my lips together so hard to keep them from trembling they must be as white as a sheet. Closing my eyes, I try and get a grip on my emotions. “Youare what’s best for me, Hudson.You.”

He starts blinking feverishly. “You want me, all of my crazy life included? Even if I can’t be with you all the time?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course. This is your career, your dream. It’s all a part ofyou, and I know we’re going to figure it all out—together. Of course I won’t like being away from you, but it’s better than the alternative. Every day with you is so much better than any day spent alone or with someone else.”

This is it.

Taking a deep breath, I try to listen to my inner voice that keeps telling me I can say the next few words. “Because I’m utterly and totally in love with you too.”

Without a word, Hudson lunges for me and scoops me up, carrying me over to the bed. Ever so gently, he lays me down and stares at me like he can’t believe I’m really there. “This is the best thing anyone has ever said to me.”

He lowers himself on top of me until his head is against my chest. He stays there for a few moments, listening to my erratic heartbeat, this special moment forever imprinted in my memory.

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