Page 54 of Baking With A Rockstar

“He didn’t think it was appropriate until we were married.”

The confusion on his face grows after that statement.

Giving our hands a quick squeeze, I remind him of the connection we still have, the one that gives me the strength to get through all of this. “I was okay with it. To be honest, I actually liked it. I stayed the occasional night at his place after he threw a dinner party or some other social gathering, but it felt good to still have my own four walls too.”

He nods, but from the looks of it, he might be biting his tongue.

“Since I needed a few things, I stopped at the store on my way home. It took a little longer than I thought, and when I walked through the front door of my place, my phone kept ringing. It was the police, telling me about an accident that my family had been in.”

Hudson lets his head hang low for a moment before he snaps his gaze back to mine with a distant look in his eyes. “No.”

“My grandma died on impact, and Rachel was at the hospital with severe injuries. It didn’t look very good for her, and they told me to get there as soon as possible.” Taking a deep breath, I’m unable to look up at Hudson. I need all the strength I can muster to get through the rest of the story, my words now barely a whisper. “Mira was in the car too. By some miracle, she didn’t have a scratch on her.”

That last bit must have been too much for Hudson because he drops my hand and jumps up from his seat. I don’t say a word and let him walk around a bit before he comes over to my side of the couch. He kneels down in front of me and takes both of my hands in his.

A single tear runs down my cheek this time. “Rachel didn’t make it. I was able to see her for a minute before they took her away for surgery, but she never came back. I saw her long enough to make her a promise, though—the biggest one I’ve ever made in my whole life.”

My hands are shaking, or maybe it’s Hudson’s. His eyes look glassy, and it’s almost too much for me to handle at the moment.

“I promised Rachel I’d take care of her baby girl. Mira isn’t my baby, Hudson, she was Rachel’s. She’s my niece.” There. I said it. The words are out, and I feel lighter and completely heartbroken at the same time.

His eyes go as wide as I imagine they can possibly go. There are only a few people that know about this and that’s for a good reason. It’s a big pill to swallow, too big for some people.

Without uttering a word, he sits down next to me and pulls me onto his lap. We sit without speaking for a long time when he starts humming a melody into my ear. It’s beautiful but also sad, which makes me cry even harder. I don’t think I can fully grasp what this man is doing for me tonight. Letting me share my story with him while caring and offering so much support is truly a gift. Not a lot of people are willing to give something like that.

When my tears finally slow down, I pull back to look at him. I’m painfully aware I must look like a mess, but I take comfort in the fact that he’s still here.

His eyes shine with so much sympathy, I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep more tears at bay.

Our faces are only inches apart, and I wish we were in a different situation than we’re currently in.

If I want to finish the story, I need to put some distance between us. Hudson lets me go reluctantly when I slide off his lap and back over to my seat.

“Sebastian was on a business trip when it all happened and didn’t get back until the next day. Since I hadn’t been able to reach him, all I could do was leave him a message to come and see me at my grandma’s house. It was easier for me to stay at their place, with all the baby stuff already there. Despite what just happened, I also found some comfort in being there. By some miracle, Mo was in the city at that time. She cleared her schedule immediately so she could stay with me for a while to help.”

I swallow. Hard. “She’d just left to get a few things from her place when Sebastian dropped by. We sat down and I explained to him what had happened. It took him all but two minutes to look at all the baby things around us before he turned back to me with what I had dubbed the ice-cold lawyer face. He told me he didn’t want to deal with my problems and that the wedding was off. And then he left. He had the few things I left at his place packed up and sent to me.”

A noise is coming from beside me, and I’m almost sure Hudson just growled.

I glance up to see his jaw is set in a grim line, and his hands are balled into tight fists at his side. “That worthless piece of shit.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Since it seemslike it’s going to take Hudson a while to cool down after everything I just told him, I give him the time he needs. I let him roam around, his steps heavy, his fists only unclenching so he can shove them roughly through his hair, pulling on strands in between.

Losing both my sister and grandma in one day, and then having Sebastian leave me the day after in what was, without a doubt, the absolute worst moment of my life was beyond devastating. Just when I thought I’d already hit rock bottom, his betrayal had me spiraling down even further. His reaction showed his true self, unwaveringly cruel and cold-hearted, a person I didn’t know existed until that very moment. He purposefully decided to be appalling, to abandon me and a little baby at a point in life where I needed his help and support more than ever before.

Hudson’s calm voice startles me; it’s so contrary to his still tense form. “How old was Mira when it happened?”

“She was only a few weeks old, not even a month. I’d only seen her a couple of times before that day. Mira wasn’t even supposed to be born until I returned from France. But she seemed to have different plans and came early while I was still gone—even though my trip was almost over at that point. I wanted to book an earlier flight back, but my sister insisted I stay overseas and finish my course first. We skyped a few times until I flew home, so I was able to spend some time with her and Mira. You should’ve seen Rachel. She was already such a proud mom. It was clear as day that she loved her little baby with all of her heart.”

Another rough shove through his hair. “I... I really don’t know what to say. I can’t put into words how sorry I am about all of this. Shit. You lost your family, especially when you’d finally just gotten closer to your sister again. Then you’re left with her baby, and your scumbag of an ex-fiancé leaves you hanging like that. I hope, more than anything, that karma is going to bite his ass extra good. How cruel and heartless he must be to do something like that. To anyone, but especially to someone like you—someone wonderful, caring, and just genuinely good. Not to mention, an innocent little baby. I can only hope he and I will never cross paths, or I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

Jumping up, I walk over to him, putting a hand on his chest in an effort to calm him. “He’s not worth it. I was angry and devastated for so long until I realized one day that it’s useless. It’s not worth it, and more importantly, it sadly won’t change what happened either. So, I decided to stop thinking about him as much as I could, because, to be honest, I’m not even sure if he ever so much as spared me a thought after he left me at my grandma’s house that awful day, so—”

Hudson is opening his mouth, probably to tell me exactly what he thinks of Sebastian’s behavior, but I shake my head.

“Don’t. I’m pretty sure I know what you want to say, and trust me, I’ve felt all of it and worse. It took me a while, but I eventually realized that I was only making myself and my life miserable. He didn’t care I was unhappy and so incredibly mad at him—he didn’t even know about it. The only thing it did was take away from my life and with that, from Mira’s too. Mo said she wouldn’t leave me alone until she thought I could handle everything, so I had to get a grip on it. As much as I didn’t want her to leave, I didn’t want her to throw away her career for me either.”

---