Page 52 of Baking With A Rockstar

He shakes his head. “No way. You owe me a bedtime story first.”

There it is. I can’t blame him for being after me with this. I’ve been dropping enough cryptic comments over the past few weeks that his curiosity must be through the roof. Not to mention he already told me his story, and I’ve promised him to tell him mine too.

Taking a deep breath, the doubts bounce through my mind like kangaroos on steroids. “I can’t guarantee a happy ending, though.”

The smile is wiped from Hudson’s face, his voice filled with worry. “It’s not that bad, is it?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I’m not sure what to tell him.

Yes, I think it’s that bad? More than bad. The worst possible time of my entire life?

Right now, I’m hoping I can even get through the story.

Well, here goes nothing. “I don’t know where to start, to be honest. There’s so much to tell, and I’m not even sure you want to hear all of it because it’s just so much garbage. On the other side, I don’t want you to hear about it later on from someone else, or think I was lying to you, especially after you were so honest and open with me.”

He takes both of my hands in his and squeezes them gently. The warm skin contact is such a weird and unexpected sensation that I gape at our intertwined hands for a moment—his so much bigger and tanner than mine. The blood buzzes through my veins at a speed that almost makes me dizzy, yet the contact still offers me some comfort too.

“Heeeey, take a deep breath. I’m here for you, and whatever it is, we’ll get through it together, okay?”

“Promise?” I can’t help but ask the one thing that’s on my mind in a constant loop, because I really want that to happen. I want him to know the truth and to get to the other sidetogether.

“Of course! Come here.” He lets go of my hands, and before I can react, Hudson pulls me over to him and engulfs me in a hug. His arms circle tightly around my body without making me feel constricted. Despite my position, I let out a deep breath and relax into him.

Although my nerves and hormones are going a little crazy, feeling him so close and having his scent surround me calms me almost instantly. When he starts rubbing my back in gentle, hypnotizing circles, my breath slows down even more.

I feel like he’s just become the Charlie-Whisperer. Is that a thing? It should be.

“There.” More rubbing. “Much better.”

My face is squished into his shoulder. “Thank you—for everything. You’ve been nothing but awesome.” Perfect really. So incredibly good for me, and Mira too.

“Anytime. No need to thank me at all.” Something touches my hair, and I stiffen.

Did he just kiss my head?

Pulling back from him slowly, I slide away from him a little. There’s a momentary flicker of hurt in his eyes when I put distance between us, but I feel vulnerable right now. And under no circumstances is Hudson someone I want to have regrets with.

Not to mention I can’t think clearly when I’m that close to him.

First, I need him to know about Mira’s and my life before anything more happens.

He deserves to have a choice.

I swallow loudly, the lump in my throat barely moving. “Okay, let’s start at the beginning then.”

Leaning back in his seat, Hudson tries to get into a comfortable position, his gaze solely focused on me.

My voice is shaky, but I push the words out anyway. “I guess, like most stories, mine starts with my childhood too. My mom has always been more absent than present. Once, when I was older, she told me that both my older sister and I were accidents, that she never wanted to have children. She didn’t know who fathered either one of us, which shouldn’t have been a surprise since she was usually either high or drunk. That’s also the reason she couldn’t ever hold a job, so we lived with my grandma for as long as I can remember.

“And thank goodness for that woman. My mom went in and out of our lives like a flimsy little mouse, until I was almost ten. That’s when she left for good. On my sister’s eleventh birthday, she decided it was a great time to tell us that she was going to get married and leave us to travel the country with her soon-to-be husband—a guy we’d never even met. That was the last time I saw her.”

Hudson hasn’t so much as blinked yet, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad sign. I decide that continuing is the best solution.

Might as well just get it all out before I chicken out.

“We never talked much about her, and Grandma did the best she could to raise us girls on her own. Sadly, once my sister was old enough—or at least she thought she was—she started to follow in our mom’s footsteps with her lifestyle. I swore then and there that I’d never be like them. I wanted to control my life, not have it control me. I never wanted my emotions to dictate my decisions and my goals in life. I wanted to have a good life and a family one day, not end up in a gutter, with alcohol poisoning or an overdose.”

Telling this story to Hudson is strange. Besides talking to Monica about it, I’ve never seen the point of reminiscing about all the negative aspects of my past. On some weird level, I have to admit that it feels good, almost freeing.

---