Page 39 of Baking With A Rockstar

“You said I’m captivating.”

“No, I didn’t.” Crap. I totally did. “I mean, I said it, but I didn’t mean it like that. What I wanted to say was that you’ll keep her attention well enough, like a good toy.”

Oh no. Abort mission,abort mission.

I think the close proximity of him has made my brain malfunction becausethatdefinitely wasn’t the right thing to say either.

This time, he bursts out laughing, not that I blame him. He probably thinks I’m a little nuts this morning.

“Wow. You’re really good for my ego.” He turns to Mirabelle. “Did you hear that, sweetie? Your mama thinks I’m a captivating toy.”

I close my eyes. How embarrassing.

Why does everything this man says sound like it’s interlaced with sex?

Or maybe that’s just me, faltering under this extreme tension between us.

Poking him in the arm, I can’t help but laugh too. “I didn’t say that, stop it.” I touch one of my cheeks to find it as hot as I thought it was. “Let’s just forget about it and get this done.”

“Oh, trust me, I will remember thisforever.” He winks at me, and I’m powerless against the flutter in my rib cage in response to his teasing.

It’s been getting harder and harder with each passing day to stay strong, and it’s only been a week since we had our “friends talk.” Maybe it’s time to admit I’m a sucker when it comes to him. He’s different than any guy I’ve ever met before, but I’ve known that for a while.

By now, it’s useless to deny my weakness for anything Hudson.

I guess you could say he’s my flavor.

Doing the right thing feels more like torture than anything else. Real painful torture that leaves me sleepless at night. And when I do finally fall asleep, I wake up in the middle of the night, all sweaty and tangled up in my sheets. I’m not sure that’s the right solution either because there doesn’t seem to be any doubt as to what my body and heart seem to want. My brain, on the other hand, is still trying to hang on to the control—even though that might not be more than a thin thread by now either.

Hudson’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. “What are you thinking about so hard?”

He’s studying me intently, lifting one of his hands slowly up to my face.

“Please, don’t.” My voice is quiet, and I close my eyes, knowing it would only make things worse if he touches me right now.

Pulling his hand back immediately, the corners of his mouth turn down into a sad frown. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t. You don’t. But it’s already hard enough without you touching me.”

He nods, even though I’m not sure he understands what I’m talking about. I leave it at that, though, not seeing a point in explaining it any further, spiraling myself deeper into this misery. The fact is, nothing has changed with the whole Addy debacle, and that’s what I need to focus on.

Lying down next to Mira, he stares up at me. “Let’s just get your little stinker here ready, okay?”

This time I nod, happy for the diversion. All week long, we’ve turned into masters of distraction, pretending as best as we can that we’re doing all right with this unfortunate situation. “Sounds good.”

After that, we make quick work of Mira, and once she’s all done, I let out a big breath. “I didn’t know they would be so much work at such a young age already. That was quite a reality-shock when I figured that out.”

“I can imagine, but you’re doing such a great job. Mira is thrilled to have such an awesome mom—no doubt about that. She wouldn’t be this beautiful little person without you as her mom.”

His words hit me so deeply, I have trouble breathing for a moment. I avert my eyes away from his, because there’s no way I can keep the emotions out of mine. His words mean more to me than I could ever tell him—despite the fact they’re also incredibly bittersweet to hear.

“Thank you.” Fanning my eyes, I try hard to laugh it off instead of crying. “I guess I’m a little emotional this morning.”

Sitting up right away, he ducks his head to catch my lowered gaze. “Hey, I’m sorry. Is everything okay? Did I say something wrong?”

He doesn’t know he hit a nerve, but I’m not sure he’s ready for my story yet—or rather, I’m not sure if I’m ready to tell him yet. Instead of explaining anything from my past, I chicken out. “No, I’m all good. Sorry. I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Nothing you need to apologize for. Why don’t you go and get ready while I stay here with Mira. Take your time and try to relax some, all right?” He grabs a few blocks and stacks them up in front of Mira.

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