Page 36 of Baking With A Rockstar

Even when his fingers drop back to his sides, our gazes stay locked, this connection—or whatever it is between us—buzzing around us like its own entity. “Just know I really believe that there’s something special between the two of us, and I want to explore that. Ineedto explore that.”

“Hudson, I—”

He holds up his hand. “Please, let me finish first.”

I nod.

“I know I made a mistake, and I know I’m far from perfect. If you want confirmation on that, just ask my family. I’m sure they’d bemorethan willing to provide you with lots of stories.” He chuckles once and my lips curve up a little at the corners at the thought of hearing all kinds of stories about Hudson.

Even with everything going on, this family has grown on me already, making the dark hole in my heart a little smaller.

His fingers reach out for mine, softly grazing the tips. “Even though we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, you’ve already become a very important part of my life. And I hope I didn’t screw that up.”

“I feel the same way.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

The hope in his eyes shines brightly. “Does that mean you forgive me?”

Chewing on the inside of my lip, I feel the weight of his question trying to crush me.

What on earth am I supposed to do?

Chapter Fourteen

My spinning thoughtsare only interrupted by my pounding heart. The blood is rushing through my ears as I take a deep breath and try to focus. “I forgive you.”

The words come out of my mouth easily, even though I was terrified of saying them.

“Thank you.” Hudson studies me intently for a few seconds before he lets out a loud sigh. “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming, though?”

I give him a sad smile, still a little torn about everything. “Probably because there is. I’m sorry, but we can’t be more than friends right now. After everything you just told me about Addy, I can’t risk it. You said yourself that you have a bad feeling about the whole situation, and that you don’t know what she’s up to. I have to think about Mira too. I can’t deliberately put a target on us, knowing what I now know about your ex. I hope you can understand.”

He rubs both of his hands roughly over his face. “I don’t like it, but I understand it. You guys mean a lot to me, and I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt either one of you.”

He’s quiet for a moment before he gives me a look so full of emotions, I can feel it in my own heart. “This isn’t the end though, right?”

“Hudson.” His name falls from my lips in a plea, because I don’t know what to say. He wants to hear the same thing my heart wants too, but I can’t let anything other than my brain decide in this situation. Since I can’t give him a definite answer, I don’t say anything. I can only hope we can get through this in one piece and come out on the other side together.

A frustrated growl rips from his throat and he gets up, the metal stool scraping against the floor as he pushes it back. “I don’t even know what she wants. It’s beyond frustrating to wait for the other shoe to drop. I just want her to go away already, so I can have my life back. I wish she’d never found me in L.A.”

Me too, Hudson, but it’s too late for that now.

I try to keep the pain and sadness over losing what we had at bay, at least until tonight. I’m sure it will all come crashing down on me later, when I’m in bed by myself. Instead, I try to focus on the one thing that allows me to channel all my anger. “So, she didn’t actually tell you much when you saw her?”

“Nope. When she left, she said she’d see me soon, which is what makes me so nervous. Addy is pure evil and loves to play games with people. Thankfully, I discovered all of that before marrying her. That would’ve, without a doubt, been the biggest mistake of my life.”

Disbelief is probably written all over my face after everything he just told me about her. “I still can’t believe you actuallywantedto marry her.”

“Things were different,shewas different. It was actually pure coincidence I didn’t tie the knot with her, or I guess maybe more so, luck.”

“Why? What happened?” I wonder for a moment why I asked that question. I’m undeniably curious to hear what she did, but I’m also just happy Hudson’s still talking to me, so I want to keep him talking. Quite possibly I’ve also developed a liking for self-torture.

Hudson seems to be wondering the same. “Do you really want to know?”

I don’t trust my words right now, so I nod.

“All right.” He lets out a deep breath and pulls the stool back to him. “We met on the set of one of her movies about two years ago. I was going to write a song for the movie, and the director invited me to watch them film the scene he wanted the song for. He introduced me to the cast, and Addy and I seemed to click instantly. We were pretty much inseparable from the very beginning. Because of our busy schedules, we didn’t see each other very often, but I was hoping that would change eventually, sometime down the road. On our first anniversary, I proposed to her, feeling like the luckiest man alive when she said yes.”

Even though Hudson’s looking at me, I don’t think he really sees me. The pain in his eyes is raw and real, and I’m dreading to know the rest of the story.

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