Page 100 of Baking With A Rockstar

Especially after everything that’s happened.

After taking a deep breath, I start all the way at the top, my eyes going over my name again.

Charlie’s Song

Life hasn’t been the same since I met you

Because you are my heart, my reason for smiling

I won’t live without you, don’t want to, just can’t do

You own me—my love, my soul, my everything

My new goal in life is putting that sparkle in your eyes

Because seeing you sad causes me pain I’ve never known before

I would do anything to protect you from any lies

Just give me a chance and I’ll prove it to you

Having you in my life has changed me in such a short while

Your touch, your love, you make my heart smile

I feel like I’m nothing without you

Just like a broken shell—I hope you need me too

Loving you has become my drug, my new favorite thing

All I want is to have you by my side

To feel you, to breathe you in

Sweetheart, please stay with me before I fall apart inside

A fat teardrop falls onto the paper, missing some of the words by mere millimeters. Using the corner of my sleeve, I wipe away the tears and sniffle some more.

The combination of the raw pain and love in those lines claws at my chest, and a lone sob breaks through before a pair of strong arms surrounds me like a cage, pulling me into the warm and safe embrace I’ve come to love so much.

“I’m so sorry, please don’t cry.” Hudson’s words are a quiet whisper in my hair, and for the first time in a while, I let my emotions get the better of me until I’m all cried out.

The tears are for so many things—happy tears for the love I feel for Hudson while I’m also beyond terrified to lose him, happy tears for Mira’s birthday coming up and the sheer miracle of her being alive while still mourning the family I lost, and frustrated tears for myself and all the mistakes I made in the past but trying to forgive myself for.

“Shh.” Hudson rubs my back in rhythmic circles. “I’m so sorry I was such an ass. Everything happening the last twenty-four hours threw me in a bout of self-doubt, and I was so scared of losing you that I just shut down. I shouldn’t have done that, I should’ve talked to you instead.”

His admission snaps me out of my moment, and after wiping my eyes—and my nose too, with a very unladylike swipe—I look up at him through wet eyelashes. “What are you talking about?” My voice sounds strange when I push the words out.

“You told Sebastian yesterday that you just wanted a normal life. I thought you might change your mind after all, that being with me is just too much for you to handle. The whole weekend was already a lot to take in, and then that crazy fan showed up on top of it. It couldn’t have been more opposite of a normal life. I’m so sorry I can’t offer you the life you want.”

Another single tear rolls down my cheek, but this one is for Hudson and his beautiful soul. “You are everything I want and need. You are my normal, and don’t think for even a minute that you can get rid of me that easily. Just like you told me a few weeks ago that I’m it for you,youareitfor me too. There won’t ever be anyone I’ll love as much as I love you. No one will ever fill that spot in my heart and soul the way you do.”

His eyes are shiny under the studio lights as he crushes me to him. “I love you so damn much, and I’ll try my best to give you everything you need.”

“You already do.”

We hold each other for a long time, my heart so full I’m afraid it might burst at any moment.

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