Page 33 of Black Lace

“What?” I ask, and my jaw tenses when I do.

“That’s all you have to say about fucking my best friend?” he growls.

My eyes narrow, and I take a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “You know what, Ben? It is. I don’t have to explain anything to you. Not when you spentFriday night fucking Ashley Kirkpatrick while I was at the hospital sick with worry that my grandfather would die.”

“Oh, you’re clearlysoconcerned about your Gramps. So worried, in fact, that you took off somewhere to fuck Declan for two days straight.”

“You fucking asshole. How dare you imply that I don’t care about Gramps? I would never have even left the hospital if he wasn’t okay. Of course, that would only have delayed the time when I found out myex-fiancé—” I spit this word out at him, heavily emphasizing the ‘ex’ portion of it, “—cheated on me. Dec took me to the Hamptons, and, quite frankly, what we did there is none of your business.”

Ben’s fists are balled at his sides, and he looks angrier than I’ve seen him look in our entire ten-year relationship.

“None of my business? I came here to beg for your forgiveness and ask for you to reconsider ending our engagement. I don’t think I want to, not now, knowing that you turned around and fucked Declan the second you got the chance.”

I realize that despite the fact that a part of me will probably always love Ben, I have no desire to be with this man. Something has broken permanently between us in a way I could never have expected.

It’s not just realizing that I’m in love with Dec. It’s realizing that the cracks were there in my relationshipwith Ben before he cheated and that they’ve been there for a long time. I find myself immensely grateful that we didn’t get engaged or married sooner. Dec was right when he said that I would’ve been completely miserable in my marriage.

I can’t resist the urge to roll my eyes at him in response to his comment on the back of my new realization. “You say that like I’m meant to give a shit that you don’t want to get back together with me. Good. Go. Live your life without me.”

It’s honestly all that I want from him now. I will always love him on some level and I hope that he has a good life, but I’m glad that I won’t have to be a part of it.

“Fuck Ashley Kirkpatrick every day of the week, for all I care. Just leave your key behind when you’re on your way out the door, and let me know when the movers will be coming to get your stuff because I sure as shit don’t want you inmyapartment ever again.”

Ben suddenly looks very afraid, and his face crumples similarly to the way Dec’s did when I asked him to leave. A stab of pain rips through my heart for ever hurting Dec in any way.

“Don’t do this, Tiff…” Ben trails off in a pleading tone.

“It’s already done. We’re finished, Benjamin. I told you that on Saturday, and I meant it. Please, just go. Don’t make this harder on yourself.”

I think it might be my last words, the clear implication that him leaving isn’t hard for me in any way, that causes him to place his key to my apartment on the coffee table before he turns and walks out the door.

I breathe a sigh of relief as he closes the door behind him. The final chapter of my life B.D. is finally complete.

CHAPTER 17

FAITH

(DECLAN)

“You should probably leave,Dec. I need to talk to Ben.”

Tiff's words echo in my ears as I leave her apartment. I take the elevator down to the basement car park, my heart feeling decidedly bruised, but with anger coursing through my veins. I've once again missed my opportunity to punch Benjamin Littrell in his smug face. Now he's alone with my… girlfriend? Fiancée if she'll agree to it.

It's incredibly strange to try and find the right label for Tiff after a weekend like the one we've just had together and, yet, a piece of me that is growing bigger with every passing moment is worried that she'll get back with him for some reason.

I don't want to go home right now. Even with knowing Ben isn't at home, I don't want to be therewhere he lives only a floor away from me. Instead of heading home, I decide to go see Daisy. She lives not far from Tiff in Jazz's apartment building. I have a key, so when I knock and she doesn't answer, I let myself inside.

I take a seat in an armchair in her living room and scroll through my emails. I open one from our family accountant notifying me my quarterly dividends from my trust have been deposited into my account and then switch into the news app.

I don't know how long I've been sitting there before the sound of Daisy entering the apartment reaches me and I call out to her, "Hi, Daise."

She appears a few moments later, looking surprised to see me. "You're back? How's Tiff? Jazz said she called in sick to work today."

"She did." I give her a tight smile. I don't know whether Tiff wants to tell anyone about us, but I need to talk to someone and as close as Daisy is to Jazz, I know she'll keep this to herself if I ask her to. "Tiff and I kind of…"

I trail off and Daisy's mouth drops open as she gasps at me. "You kind ofwhat, Declan Theodore McLean?!"

"We slept together," I admit sheepishly.

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