Page 28 of Black Lace

An unintended gasp escapes my lips. He’s staring me in the eyes, and the heart that was previously beating a thousand miles a minute in my chest has stopped beating entirely. I can’t breathe. I can’t focus on anything except the words he just uttered to me.

“You don’t mean that,” I whisper.

Dec swallows, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat. My eyes fall on his soft, full lips, and I remember how good they feel when he’s kissing me, both above the waist and below. I have a thousandthoughts and memories flash through my brain as I wait for his response, but it doesn’t come until I finally meet his gaze again.

“Yes, I do. I’ve loved you for years. If Ben hadn’t met you first, I probably would’ve asked you out years ago. By the time we met, you already loved him. I never had a chance.”

He breaks our gaze and looks out over the water before continuing.

“I told myself that we could just be friends. I made jokes about fucking you because it was less scary for me that way. We could all be friends, but I never really stopped wanting you, deep down.”

I reach my hand up and turn his face to mine. He looks into my eyes, and I realize that I’ve always known this. The jokes about sleeping with me, the nickname he uses for me. On some level, I knew he loved me, but I loved him too much to acknowledge it and possibly lose his friendship in the process.

“I love you, Dec,” I say around a lump in my throat because I don’t want to continue, but I know I have to. “I love him, too, though. I can’t just switch that off in a day. I knew when you and I slept together yesterday that I would never go back to him.”

I can see the pain cross his features when I confess that there’s still a part of me that loves Ben, but I see some relief there when he hears my final words.

“Can this be something?” he asks.

I can’t stop my lips from curving into a smile. “Yes, this can definitely besomething. It’s messy and screwed up, but maybe something good can actually come out of this.”

Dec closes the space between us and kisses my smiling lips, causing the intense desire I feel for him to come crashing back over me. I wrap my arms around his neck and move closer to him.

We kiss for a long time, and we’re both breathing heavily when we stop. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in to him. I feel warm and safe and loved. I get a strange feeling, as though I’m coming home. As though this is the place in the world where I’m meant to be.

I can feel the tiny shards of my heart being pieced back together, and I smile at him. I wrap my arms around his waist, feeling the hard muscles underneath his skin as I do. My head is resting against his chest, and I can hear his heart beating in my left ear while the sounds of the ocean play in my right ear.

It's bizarre heading back into the house holding Dec's hand. It feels like our walk together has cemented something between us. We left the house two friends who had fucked in a moment of strange grief, but we're returning two people who are in some sort of actual relationship. I don't think I've ever been more scared and excited about something in my life.

A part of me is still terrified that this will end badlyand I'll end up losing Dec, but from what I've experienced so far, I know that it's worth giving it a shot. At the very least, I feel assured that he will never cheat on me.

For a moment, I wonder how we’re going to tell our friends and family about us, but I push away the thought. I have until tomorrow to simply enjoy being with Dec without any drama. We spend the rest of the day in bliss. We have sex again, then order in food for dinner. After we eat, we sit together on the sofa and watch a movie.

“Why does this feel soright, Dec?” I ask while chewing my lip.

He smiles at me. “Because itisso right, Sexy.”

“See? That. You’ve been calling me Sexy for years. It’s like nothing’s changed,” I shake my head in amazement.

Dec kisses me, slipping his tongue into my mouth and softly caressing my breasts with one of his hands.

He grins wickedly at me. “Nothing’s changed, huh?”

Desire for him zings through my body, and I can’t stop myself from laughing, “Okay, maybesomethings have changed.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.” A serious look comes over his face. “You do know that I didn’t come to your apartment yesterday with the intention of fucking you the second you ended your engagement, don’t you?”

I place my palm against his cheek and smile as I look into his stunning blue eyes. “I know that, Dec. I don’t feel taken advantage of in any way.”

“Whoa, I didn’t say I thought I took advantage of you. Way to put that thought in my head,” he laughs.

I lean forward and kiss him, then say suggestively, “Well, how about we go to your bedroom, and I can take advantage of you, right now?”

“NowthatI’m on board with, Sexy.”

CHAPTER 14

THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS

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