Page 99 of Hayden's Stalker

I wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. She looks down at her bowl and eats some of her granola, so I also turn my attention to my food. It’s good, and my head’s feeling better, which is nice. I still feel a bit seedy, though.

I’m curious why she would stop her recollection of our evening there and suspicious that she’s hoping I don’t remember it.

As she looks around the room, I point out, “You forgot to mention watching a movie with me.”

Her eyes, which had been scanning the room before, halt for a moment before she turns her face to look at me and says far too casually, “Oh yeah, you wanted to watchQuantum of Solacebefore you went to bed.”

Her cheeks are bright red as I look into her eyes and raise an eyebrow at her. “Did you also forget to mention that we kissed?”

“I’m not—yes, that happened, but obviously it was a mistake and can’t happen again, so I didn’t think I needed to mention it.”

It hurts to know that she would keep this from me. It’s not a lie except by omission, but if I didn’t remember, it’s clear she wouldn’t have offered up this information, which I dislike. I hate the thought that if I didn’t remember, I wouldn’t get to know about our first, and maybe only kiss.

“Did you really think I could forget that kiss?” I ask, astounded she could ever think I might forget it.

“A girl can hope,” she says with a small smile at me.

Her words tear at my heart because she really did hope that I wouldn’t remember. One of the best experiences of my life, and she wanted to deny it to me.

She tells me in a serious voice, “As I said, it can’t happen again. I mean it, Hayden. The whole flirting and kissing andwhatever has to stop. I’m your bodyguard, and I need to focus on your safety.”

I take a sip of my coffee before I say anything. I don’t know why her openly admitting that she’s been flirting with me gets to me so badly, but it does. It’s the acknowledgment that she’s a willing participant in this. I search her gaze for some sign that she might give in and allow us to explore whatever it is we have going on. More than anything, I want to know if what we have could actually be something because it truly feels like it could.

“You mentioned in my car that you wanted to let loose. I can’t help wondering if youeverdo that.”

“That’s not fair, Hayden. Yes, my job requires me to be a party pooper a lot of the time. In my regular life, I’m really quite a lot of fun.”

I want to be a part of her ‘regular life,’ and I can tell from her expression that she didn’t mean to say that.

“Tell me what you do that’s so much fun,” I ask in a low voice, thinking of a few fun things we could do together.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to tell you too much about myself,” Tati cringes.

“Hey, you’re the one who said you were ‘quite a lot of fun.’ You can’t blame me for being curious.”

It hurts because she’s the first person in a long time who I could actually imagine being in a long-term relationship with. Not just because she’s available like Blake was. Hell, she apparentlyisn’tavailable to me. Not just as friends with benefits like Ally was, either. She’s someone who I already feel I would move heaven and earth to be with if she was willing to do that.

“True. Well, I think we should just keep things professional from now on, okay?”

My disappointment is immense, and it forms a knot in my stomach. Something raw and painful hurts from her rejection,and even though I know she’s not doing it because she doesn’t want me, it still hurts as much as if she was.

I take a sip of my coffee, keeping my voice level as I tell her, “Sure. Professional it is.”

I shrug as casually as I can and draw on my best media training to keep my face neutral. I don’t want to give away how badly this hurts.

It’s awkward and uncomfortable to put myself out there with Tati only to be shut down. It feels like it keeps happening and brings back the pain of the last few years when all I’ve wanted is to find someone to be with, and I keep finding people who aren’t that person for one reason or another.

We eat the rest of our breakfast in awkward silence. I don’t know what to say to Tati that I haven’t said already, and she’s made it clear that she wants a professional relationship with me. I’m not entirely sure how she behaves with clients regularly, so I figure that I’ll take her lead. She doesn’t initiate a conversation, so neither do I.

Jesse leaves us alone when we get back upstairs and heads to his room. Tati leads the way to my suite and does a sweep as soon as we enter.

“All clear,” she tells me, and I nod at her.

I head back to the spot I was in before breakfast and pick my book up. I read for a little while but have a nervous energy that I can’t dispel. My mind is a mess of emotions, and I keep replaying my kiss with Tati from last night. I set my book aside when I realize I’m rereading the current page for the second time.

I look up at a painting on the wall in front of me, trying to make sense of my thoughts. It’s the usual generic hotel art, but it has a lake with a boat on it. I imagine swimming in the lake in front of me, and I decide that I should make use of the hotel pool. It’ll hopefully get some of this nervous energy out and give me a chance to think through everything while I do.

I look at Tati and smile at her. “I want to go swimming.”

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