Page 203 of Hayden's Stalker

“I’m happy to hear it. You ready to go home to Chicago?”

I nod as I pour milk into the bowls. “Definitely. I’m over it. It’s been a long tour, especially given—” I cut myself off as I’m once again taken back to the cabin, and I focus on putting the milk back in the fridge before I change tack, “—anyway, I’m ready to go home. What about you?”

I hand a bowl to Tatiana, and she smiles at me as she takes it over to sit on the sofa.

“Yeah, definitely. It’s an improvement having my own room on the bus, at least,” he says with a cheeky grin.

Tatiana laughs. “Remember when you said you thought Hayden was going to offer me his room?”

This surprises me because Jesse’s always been totally professional with me. The company he works for insists that the bodyguards refer to us by our last names, so he doesn’t even call me Hayden. It’s fascinating to hear that he not only thought this but expressed it to Tati at the time.

“You said that, Jesse?” I raise my eyebrows at him.

“I might’ve said something like that. I don’t really remember,” Jesse says with an innocent smile at Tati, and she scoffs.

Tati and Jesse are talking about gun licensing laws as I pull out my phone and send a text to my friend, Nate.

Hey, Nate. I’m getting married, and my fiancée wants to get married in Cali. I was wondering if you would be willing to let us get married at your place in Napa?

We’re nearing the venue when I finally get a response.

Congrats! Sure. Lexi actually joked the last time she went out there that I should hire it out for weddings.

I laugh at his message, and both Tati and Jesse look over at me with confused looks on their faces.

“I’m not the first person to think of Nate’s estate as a possible venue,” I tell them with a grin.

I look down at my phone to write a reply.

She’s not wrong. We’re happy to pay, of course.

He replies pretty quickly this time.

Don’t be ridiculous. You should come out and visit. I can meet your fiancée and you guys can decide where on the estate you want to get married.

I tell Tati about his offer, and we agree to take a trip out to LA after the tour finishes. The conversation with Nate and talking to Jesse with Tati is a good distraction as we head to the venue, but when we arrive, I can barely breathe as we walk into the backstage area. It’s way too familiar, and I cling to Tati as we walk through to my dressing room. Tanya assured us that I wouldn’t have the same one as last time, but I have to look away as we pass it on the way, and Tati squeezes my hand.

Memories of entering that room with Daniel flood my mind. I have so much regret that I didn’t question Tati ever leaving me without security. In hindsight, she would never do that, and I should’ve realized that at the time. If I had, then Sarah’s plan would never have come to fruition. At the same time, if it hadn’t,then she might still be out there, trying to get to me. I shudder at the thought.

I focus on my breathing and do as much as I can to try and ground myself. I’m carrying a book I was going to read before the soundcheck. I rub the rough paper of the pages with my thumb, but by the time we reach my dressing room, I’m feeling shaky and uncertain. I haven’t felt this bad since the first days after I was rescued. Everything is rushing back, and I can’t seem to stop myself from thinking about being with Sarah in the cabin.

Jesse sits outside as usual while Tati and I enter the room. I chew my bottom lip as I walk across the room and put my book down on the table.

I stare down at it and admit, “It’s harder coming back here than I expected.”

Tati walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist. “I know. I’m here, though.”

I kiss her, and we sit together on the sofa until it’s time for the soundcheck. As the time for the soundcheck nears, I find it harder and harder to remain calm. I know in my head that Daniel isn’t here. He’s not going to drug Tati this time. I’m not going to be kidnapped again.

Sarah is dead.

It’s still so difficult, though, and I close my eyes as I sigh heavily. “Is it always going to be like this? I feel like I’ve gone back in time. This sucks so hard.”

“I wish I could tell you that it won’t,” she says as she kisses me gently and rests her head on my chest. “We knew that this concert could be particularly triggering. Coming back to where it happened. I’ll be here with you the whole time.” She pulls her head back to look into my eyes. “If you need to not do tonight’s concert, you don’t have to do it.”

I know in myself that regardless of how I’m feeling, I would never in a million years cancel this concert because I couldn’t do that to our fans.

I shake my head at Tati. “I have to do it. I just wish it didn’t need to be here.”

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