Page 192 of Hayden's Stalker

“Sarah touched my cock a few times.” Shame floods through me as I admit this quietly. “The worst was yesterday morning when she wanted to blow me because I had morning wood. I couldn’t stop her because I was tied up, but I begged her to just give me time before we did anything sexual together.”

I retch more intensely this time and only barely make it to a trash can at the side of the room before I vomit up some bile from my empty stomach.

As I walk back to sit next to Tati again, she frowns at me. “You don’t have to tell me anything more if it’s too much.”

I need to tell her, though. Tati is the woman I love. Of everyone in my life, she deserves to know all this before I ask her to marry me.

“There’s only one more thing,” I tell her. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “The second night. The one where she wore the see-through outfit.”

I can’t continue as an onslaught of memories hits me. I can hear her moans and pants for breath. I can feel her arm moving against my thigh. The fear floods through me again, and I’m frozen like I was when it happened, unable to speak as a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Hayden, you don’t have to say it,” Tati says in a croaky whisper.

I’m torn between having to voice the words aloud and my strong desire to pretend this never happened to me. Sarah’s ecstasy plays in my head like a record on repeat, and I can barely breathe.

Tati takes my hand in hers and squeezes it tightly as she looks up at me. “You really don’t.”

This simple action and the insistence that I don’t have to tell her this gives me the strength to tell her, and I say, “She masturbated while she thought I was sleeping. I’d begged her to give me time because she was basically naked. I was so scared she was going to rape me. Then she did that.”

I can feel her sticky fingers on my torso, and I want to run into the bathroom and grab the washcloth to scrub my skin clean. I desperately need to remove the skin that was infectedby Sarah’s touch. I know I can’t, and it makes me feel dirty and shameful, along with feeling guilty that it happened at all.

“You said last night that you want to marry me.” I finally manage to look at Tati as I tell her, “I couldn’t do that without you knowing what happened with her.” I bite my lip as I look away again. “I’m sorry.”

She places her palm on my face and turns my head to make me look at her. I struggle to meet her gaze, and I feel so unworthy of her love, especially after thinking about what happened.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. If you think that any of what you just told me would make me not want to marry you, then you’re sorely mistaken. I love you, Hayden Vega, and what somebody else did to you could never stop me from loving you.”

“I’m broken,” I whisper in a cracked voice.

It’s so true that it hurts. The words cause a stabbing pain in my heart as I voice the thing I haven’t said aloud to anyone yet.

“Something in me broke in that cabin, and I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.”

Tears fall from Tati’s eyes as she drops her hand from my face but keeps my gaze while she takes my hand in hers.

“Believe it or not, I know how you feel right now. Something happened to me, and I was certain that I would never be the same again. I was right. It changed me, but it didn’t change who I was as a person. I was still the same Tati deep down, but I also had this gaping wound that wouldn’t heal.”

She swallows heavily and draws a shaky breath of air before she smiles at me.

“For the longest time, it felt that way, but then it finally started to mend. Even now, it sometimes splits open if something triggers me, but I’m mostly okay. You’ll get there, too, and I’ll be with you every step of the way to help.”

29

The Asshole

When I manageto get myself together, we head back into the room with my friends, and I continue telling them what happened to me. It takes much longer than it did last night because I give them more detail, and Tati insists that I take breaks with her in the spare room when I get too overwhelmed. I’m glad because I need them more than I realize, but each time, Tati seems to see the signs before I do that I need to take a break.

“Seeing Tati was such a shock, but I don’t think I’ve ever needed someone more in my life than I needed her right then.” I turn to frown at her. “You haven’t explained how you managed to blackmail the FBI to come to find me.”

Sebastian laughs. “Your girlfriend is a freaking badass, bro. She told them she was going to lose a quarter of a million dollars if you weren’t found and that if they didn’t agree to let her go with them, she’d take off on a rescue mission to find you herself.”

“Did you really?” I gape at her.

She shrugs. “I would’ve done anything to get to you.”

It’s so similar to what Sarah said to me, and I hate the reminder. It’s coming from the woman I love, though, so it means so much to know how much she cares.

“But how did you find where I was?” I ask her.

---