Page 136 of Hayden's Stalker

She purses her lips and frowns at me. “It’s not fair that they can do that to me then, and also stop me from doing something I want to do now.”

I watch her expression get strange as her breathing quickens before she clears her expression, and her jaw tenses. It’s obvious that this is bringing up bad memories for her, and I hate that I’ve been a part of that.

“I can see that you’re struggling, though. Even this conversation is hurting you. I don’t want to contribute to that.”

“There’s a safe word, right? I get to use that if I need to, so where’s the risk?” She raises an eyebrow at me.

Her argument that they hurt her in the past and now she’s suffering the consequences does hold some weight. We would have a safe word if we did it, and I know I could watch her and be sure to keep her mental well-being in check.

At the same time, I’m worried that a part of me would be saying yes because I want it so badly, and I don’t want to be selfish like that. It’s possible it could work if we just did some easy scenes in the bedroom to see how she went to being with. Nothing hardcore or intense, maybe not ever. I’ve been low-key Domming her since the night we first fucked anyway.

“If we did anything, it could only be in the bedroom,” I warn her. “We could do some easy scenes to begin with, nothing hardcore or rough like impact play. Just you submitting control to me.”

Even the thought of that small act is enough to make my cock painfully hard. I would need to be very, very careful with her, though.

“We can gauge how you react to that and go from there.”

Tati’s face brightens as she smiles at me and asks, “What will my safe word be?”

“A lot of people use pineapple.”

I laugh because it’s the most basic safe word you can use. Then again, we’ll be doing very basic scenes, so it’s kind of fitting.

“Why pineapple?”

“Well, it’s not a word you’ll usually say. You might say no during a scene, but in BDSM, that doesn’t mean stop.”

It’s kind of weird to be giving basic kink instruction, especially after so long, but it also feels so right.

“Everyone involved in a BDSM scene should consent to what is happening. If you’re screaming in pain, it’s because youwantto be, and youalwayshave the power to stop it with your safe word—”

Fuck. Way to fucking go, Hayden.

I shake my head at my absolutely fucking terrible choice of words. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that about the pain. Anyway, I think the traffic light system would be good for you rather than just a safe word.”

I would’ve used it anyway, but for Tati, I think we’llreallyneed to use it alot.

She blinks at me, looking confused. “What’s the traffic light system?”

“I’ll ask you for a safety light check, and you’ll tell me if you’re green, orange, or red. Green means everything is fine, orange means it’s getting intense, and red means you’re at your limit and I should pull back the intensity. You still use your safe word if you need to stop at any time.”

She chews her bottom lip as she looks at me, then whispers, “What if I can’t say it when I need to?”

“It’s on me to recognize that, Tatiana. If we do this, I might even be the one who safe-words, and there’s no way we’d do anything intense to begin with.”

It’s likely that I would safe-word before she does. I’m sure I’d recognize the signs of any distress in her. At the same time, it’s also a possibility that we’ll never do anything hardcore ever, and I’m okay with that.

“I don’t want to do anything that might hurt your mental health. I also wouldn’t ignore a ‘no’ from you unless you were experienced in BDSM. It’s not a case of us deciding to do this and then it’s set in stone and you have no say in anything. Like any relationship, it grows and changes as we do.”

She swallows heavily, then nods and says, “Okay, Sir.”

“Do you want to call me Sir?” I ask because she sounds strange saying it. “Does that feel okay?”

Tati cringes. “Not gonna lie, it feels a bit like I’m talking to my commanding officer.”

No fucking way am I going to do anything kink-related that reminds her of her training or past life. That’s a surefire way to get her in a terrible headspace, and kink is about mutual sexual exploration, not making your sub feel shit just so you can get off.

I shake my head. “Okay. Not Sir, then. I don’t want you to associate this with your training. Just call me Mr. Vega. You can even use it in public down the track.”

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