Page 111 of Hayden's Stalker

“Thanks. You ready to go, Tati?” I ask as casually as I can.

Tati nods then turns her beautiful smile to Dan. “See you later. Thanks again for the sandwich.”

I follow her to my dressing room. We’ll be staying here until the concert starts, and I can’t shake the jealous feeling from watching Tati and Dan together. At the same time, I know that she’s free to be with anyone she wants. I have no say over it.

“I think he likes you,” I tell her as I drop onto the sofa at the side of the room. “You should go for it.”

Tati walks over to stand in front of me, and she raises an eyebrow at me. “Should I?”

No.

Even though I don’t want her to date him, he’s probably a better choice for her than I am, if I’m being honest with myself.

“Yeah. I mean, he doesn’t have a stalker, so there’s that.”

I look up at her but keep my face neutral, not wanting to give away any of my feelings. I think about the emails she showed me earlier, and I know that I can’t really be with her, no matter how much I want to be.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were jealous, Hayden Vega.”

As much as I want to be with her, it’s not that I’m massively jealous of Dan talking with Tati. It’s more that hecan. He’s not the one who has a stalker who wants to kidnap him and live out some fantasy. He’s free and clear to get into a relationship with Tati if she wants to, and I wish I were in that position.

“Not really jealous as such, more envious that he doesn’t have a stalker, and I do. I guess I would probably be jealous if you did get into a relationship with him, though.” I shrug.

Once again, I find myself admitting far more to Tati than I probably should. I always seem to end up in this dangerous territory with her. Where I want to saysomuch more. I want to tell her how much she’s come to mean to me and that she’s the most precious thing in the world, in my opinion. She’s more valuable than any of the rarest gems on this Earth. I can’t tell her that. I spent half an hour earlier reading many very good reasons why I can’t.

Tati drops onto the sofa next to me, and she ends up so close that our shoulders and thighs are touching. I can smell her floral scent and want her so badly, but a part of me wants her to just be with someone else so I can try and get over her.

“It doesn’t matter because I can’t get into a relationship with anyone, whether they have a stalker or not. I don’t have time off when I’m on a contract, so I can hardly go out on dates.”

One of the things I’ve admired about her since I met her is that she’s so dedicated to her job, so this makes sense.

“Even if I could, Daniel is just a friend, a friendly face backstage. He’s not the person I think about when I’m lying in bed at night, that’s for sure.”

It takes me a moment to register her words, and when I do, I feel them down to the core of my very being. Every desire I have for her comes rushing back to me. All my sense and reason,along with the knowledge of why we shouldn’t be together, fly out the window.

I turn to look at her, and she meets my gaze, her face flushed and looking sexy as hell. “Tell me who you do think about, Tati.”

She shakes her head instead of answering, and it says far more than words ever could. She promised not to lie to me, so I know she’s thinking about me if she won’t tell me.

“I’ll take your silence as an answer, then,” I inform her.

I want her so badly. I want this connection with her. I want this moment here in this room. So I put my arm around her to pull her against me for a hug, and it’s just as good as it was that day in my car when we went to see the tour bus.

“Hayden. I can’t do this,” she says in a quiet voice.

“I just want to hold you, Tati,” I tell her honestly. “You said your arms were always open.”

My heart pounds in my chest, and if she tries to leave my embrace, I’ll let her go. She doesn’t, though. She rests her head on my chest and wraps her arm around me as well.

Everything else fades away, and the world is reduced to Tati and me. A sense of calm and happiness comes over me. Being allowed to hold her like this with no resistance and with her hugging me back is glorious. If I could stay here forever, I would.

16

The Toilet Break

The soundof the road noise as the bus travels to the next city in the middle of the night is soothing. I can’t switch off, however. I’m utterly aware of Tatiana sleeping in her room not far from me. My desire to fuck her all over this bus has only gotten stronger now we don’t have a chaperone on board to make me behave.

I find my phone in the dark and use the flashlight from it until I turn on the light in my room. My headphones are in the cupboard nearby, where I usually store them. I put them in my ears, and they connect to my phone. I found a video last week that’sso good.

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