Page 95 of Sebastian's Baby

“You still haven’t answered my question, though…” Lita trails off.

I can’t resist any longer, and I really don’t give a shit who is watching. I want to kiss her.

“Sì.” I smile at her.

Lita climbs onto my lap and straddles me before she presses her lips against mine. She wraps her arms around my neck and parts her lips, allowing our tongues to intertwine. I put my arms around her and hold her tightly to me, thinking how good this feels but knowing that I don’t deserve it.

I feel like a traitor to Lita. Going out and fucking other women in Chicago has made the world think less of her. They think she’s unimportant to me, andI’mthe reason they think that. I don’t know what to do with these feelings, so I push them away and focus on how good she feels in this moment.

When our kiss ends, Lita rests her chin on my shoulder and lowers her arms to wrap them around my waist and hug me. Her touch is comforting, and I try to remember that she and our baby are all that matters, that everything else is just stuff, but the guilt is still overwhelming me.

“How are you two so disgustingly cute together when he’s been sleeping with half of Chicago behind your back?” Becky asks, sounding annoyed.

Lita lifts her head and looks in my eyes. I’m struck by how much has changed in our lives since we met in June. If I’d been given a choice, I never would’ve chosen this, but I’m not unhappy that Lita is in my life…just that I’ve caused her issues.

“Because we’re having a baby together,” Lita tells Becky while still looking at me and I can’t help but smile at her. “We’re special to each other. And it’s not behind my back, Becky, that implies that it’s sneaky and underhanded. Besides, I only care about who Sebastian sleeps with when I’m with him. I know who he’ll be sleeping with tonight, and she’s the only one of his lovers that I care about.”

“If it helps, she’s the only one of my lovers that I care about too,” I say as I reach up to tuck Lita’s hair behind her ear.

“So, why sleep with the other women at all, then?” Becky asks.

I’m floored by the question as I look into Lita's beautiful eyes. Heather asked me this question on Friday, but it’s so much harder to defend it when I’ve got Lita sitting on my lap.

She shakes her head and says, “You don’t have to explain yourself, Seb.”

“I wasn’t having a go at him, Lita. I was just wondering, like, honestly. Why sleep with them if you don’t care about them?”

“Isn’t this just a repeat of the conversation Sebastian and I had in the limousine in Chicago?” Lita laughs, shooting a glance over her shoulder at Becky.

I look at her, the mother of my child, the woman who has gained a permanent place in my life. I had no idea back then that what I was defending wasn’t as good as I thought it was.

“When we had that conversation, I hadn’t slept with someone I cared about, though,” I tell her.

“Has it changed your opinion at all?” Lita asks, sounding curious.

I consider the question, and I think the answer is obvious. I definitely prefer having sex with Lita to anyone else. The encounters I’ve had with other women since meeting her have felt almost pointless. Enjoyable enough, and the orgasms are nice, but it’s meaningless. When I have sex with Lita, it feels like every time is building on the last, and it’s adding to the foundation for the life we’re going to have together as parents to our baby.

“Yeah, it has. I mean, I’d take sex with you over any of the randoms, any day. It’s just so much better with you. Plus, when we’re done fucking, we get to talk about the baby and plan stuff.” I don’t want to break her ground rules, so I finish with, “I promised not to tell you anything about the other women, so I’ll just say it’s not like that with them.”

“No, wait a second, I want to lift that rule for a minute.” Lita frowns and slides off my lap before turning to look at me again. “With the randoms, you finish fucking, what happens next?”

I cringe because I don’t particularly want to talk about the other women with Lita. “Um, well, either they leave, or I do. Why?”

“Literally, you finish fucking. You’re inside her. What do you do?” Lita asks.

“Fucking hell, Lita,” Becky gasps. “What the shit are you doing?”

“Answer me, Seb,” Lita says, ignoring Becky’s question.

I have no fucking clue where the hell she’s going with this or why she would go from not wanting me to tell her anything tothis.

“I dunno, I pull out? Is this a trick question?”

“You’re wearing a condom, right?” Lita prompts me. “What do you do, Seb?”

I stare at her in confusion, but I can’t tell what she wants me to say, so I think about what happens in these situations and tell her, “I get rid of the condom, I guess. Clean myself up?”

“What do you say to her?” Lita asks as she frowns again.

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