Page 94 of Sebastian's Baby

“Thanks, Becky, I’m aware.” She certainly doesn’t need to tell me, because I already know.

“Stop.” Lita glares at Becky as she links her hand with mine. “Sebastian is not disgusting. He can sleep with whomever he wants; there is nothing wrong with that.”

“Well, you’ve certainly changed your tune,” Becky snaps. “That’s not what you used to say before Chicago.”

Pain rips through me at the reminder of the opinion Lita held of me when we first met.

“That’s a low blow, Rebecca. You’re saying that to try and hurt Sebastian, and it’s not fair. Yes, I had a terrible opinion of him before we met. Yes, he has slept with other women––”

“Alotof other women,” Becky interrupts her.

“Whatever. The number of women is irrelevant. It’s not like I said, ‘I’m cool with only X number of women.’ No, that was not our deal. I don’t understand why you’re suddenly being like this. We’ve talked about this, and you knew Sebastian was sleeping with other women this whole time; it’s not like this is news to anybody.” Lita shrugs.

“Maybe because I didn’t realize how many women. It’s gross.”

I’m reminded of Lita using that word the day we told her family. I can’t help but think Becky’s right as I think about everything I’ve done to Lita.

“I know when he’s been here with you, some of those times, he literally slept with another woman right before coming to see you. He was with someone else on Friday night. He must have gotten off the phone with you, then gone straight to fuck another woman. How are you okay with this? Do you have no self-respect, Lolita?” Becky shakes her head.

Becky’s question piles on to the shit I’m feeling because she thinks someone would have to have no self-respect in order to sleep with me. I don’t know if I should say something or if I should maybe just leave and let them have this conversation in private.

Lita glares at Becky and hurls out, “Stop being so fucking judgmental. I’m a grown-ass adult and completely and utterly capable of choosing whom I want to sleep with. I’ve told you, repeatedly, what my boundaries are within the context of my relationship with Sebastian. He has respected those boundaries.”

In Becky’s defense, this isn’t exactly the amazing achievement Lita seems to think it is. She hasn’t asked much from me except to not sleep with anyone else when we’re together and not to tell her about the other women. It’s literally the bare minimum, and I can’t help but wonder if she didn’t ask more of me because her opinion is still so low that she doesn’t think I could do better. I glance at her phone and think of the list. She wouldn’t be wrong.

“I don’t give a flying fuck about the other women he’s slept with. Nor should you. He probably couldn’t tell you half of their names on pain of death. Do you know whose name he knows? Mine. He calls me. He texts me. He comes to see me. He gives a fucking shit about me and our baby. We’re going to be a family together, no matter how unconventional it is. None of those women on that list is the mother of his child. I am.”

It’s true. I care about Lita more than pretty much anyone else. She and our baby are the biggest priority for me, which is why I hate myself for what I’ve brought on her.

“I have plenty of self-respect, Rebecca. If Sebastian treated me in any way I did not think was appropriate, I would not hesitate to put him in his place, you know that. You know I’ve done it in the past. If you’re going to continue to be rude to both me and Sebastian, then you should probably go home now, and I’ll see you some other time.”

There’s a heavy silence as Becky glares at us both. “You’re choosing him over me?”

“No, Becky.” Lita sighs. “I just want you to stop being cruel to Sebastian. To stop raking him over the coals when he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Yes, I do,” I tell her, and Lita snaps her head around to look at me.

“No, you don’t, Seb.” Lita shakes her head. “You haven’t broken any of your promises to me.”

I look down at the rug on the floor in front of us because I can’t bear to look in Lita’s eyes as I admit, “No, but Becky is right. I didn’t think about how it would look when people eventually found out about you.” I’m kicking myself for not thinking it through to this point. “I’m sorry, princess. I obviously couldn’t do anything about the women before you told me you were pregnant, but to hear you say you feel humiliated by that list, I’m sorry. I should’ve known better.”

Lita reaches her hand up and turns my face to hers, forcing me to look at her. “It is humiliating, Seb, but only because they don’t know our situation. I hate what they’ll be saying about you, as much as I hate what they’ll be saying about me. You’ve done nothing wrong. Trust me, I would let you know if you had. This is all just stuff, remember? What’s important is our baby. Posso baciarti?”

“Un bacio non risolverà questo, principessa.” I shake my head because it’s true.

Lita smiles at me. “I know, Seb. Fuck this noise, though. Posso baciarti?”

“Becky’s already angry at me, though,” I point out.

Lita looks over at her friend, who is watching us with narrowed eyes but not saying anything.

“Shh, she might not notice. Posso baciarti?” she says in a mock-whisper.

Even Becky laughs at Lita’s comment, and I say, “I think she probably will, though.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, Sebastian Fox. Posso baciarti?” Lita laughs.

“You’re persistent, princess.” I roll my eyes at her.

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