Page 88 of Sebastian's Baby

“Sure, but I’m also sure you agree Cletus is the best choice for a boy, right?” Lita kisses me.

“Um, maybe we should think about it some more?” I ask. “I guess if you really like it…”

I trail off, wondering how the hell I’m going to convince her that Cletus is a terrible name, and Lita bursts into laughter.

“Oh god, you’re too nice to me, Seb, I couldn’t resist.”

Relief floods through me as I realize she was joking.

“Holy shit, you scared me, Lita. I thought you were serious, and I had no idea how I was going to tell you there’s no way in hell I would ever name my son Cletus.” I join in her laughter. “I was just hoping you’d go off the name by the time the baby was born.”

“We’re going to have a baby,” Lita says slowly as though she’s only just realizing this. “Sometimes, it still doesn’t feel real.”

I smile at her. “I know. I hear the heartbeat, and I see how you’re changing, and I know it’s real, but I don’t think I’ll really believe it until I’m holding our baby in my arms.”

“Twenty-four weeks to go tomorrow. Five and a half months. Oh my god. I’m going to have to start thinking about the nursery soon. Maybe we could go shopping after the anatomy scan? I’ll start making a list of what we need and researching the reviews and safety ratings and stuff.”

Lita rattles off a bunch of things that make me feel incredibly unprepared, and I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah, I can do that. I guess I’ll leave the researching to you; I normally just buy whatever seems the best.”

“I couldn’t do that,” Lita gasps. “Sometimes the expensive stuff has terrible reviews, and the cheap stuff is better. I always like to make an informed choice.”

I can’t stop myself from chuckling when she says this because I doubt I would’ve been her ‘informed choice,’ if she’d been deciding which member of Cruise Control to have a baby with.

“What?” she asks me.

“I was just thinking about us.”

“What about us?” She raises an eyebrow at me.

“Well, Hayden was your favorite member of Cruise Control.” I work hard to try and keep my face straight as I tell her, “If you were making an informed choice about which of us to have a baby with, I bet it wouldn’t have been me.”

Lita laughs, then kisses me. “No, it wouldn’t have been. I’m glad I’m not having Hayden’s baby, though. He’s awesome, but would you believe he’s never once given me an orgasm? So rude.”

“I’ll have a word with him about how inconsiderate he is,” I joke. “In the meantime, I’m more than happy to pick up the slack for him.”

“I appreciate it. If I don’t get my quota of orgasms filled, I do get very cranky. And I’m only half-joking. I’ve been so fucking horny since I got pregnant.”

I kiss her deeply, then murmur, “It’s a good thing I like giving you orgasms then.”

“Yeah, even in my dreams,” Lita laughs. “I had this amazing sex dream the other night, and I literally woke up having an orgasm.”

I blink at her, completely stunned by this statement. “Seriously?”

“Yup, apparently it’s the hormones. Pregnancy dreams can be really vivid. I’ve had a couple of nasty ones too. I definitely prefer the sex dreams, that’s for sure.” She shudders.

I feel completely out of the loop. I wish I could’ve been there for both these types of dreams. I could’ve fucked her after the sex dreams and helped her feel better after the nightmares.

“I hate being in a different city to you,” I admit. “I feel like I’m missing out on so much.”

“I know, but we knew our situation was less than ideal when we decided to do this, Sebastian. I’ll try and involve you more, okay?” Lita says, and I nod, even though it sucks. “As we told our families, we’re just making the best out of this, and I think we’re doing a pretty good job so far.

“When I first found out, I couldn’t imagine raising your baby.” Her words are inadvertently razor sharp as usual, but she follows them with a soothing sweetness. “Now, I can’t imagine not raising your baby. When I met you, I saw you as Sebastian Fox, the world’s most arrogant asshole. Now, you’re Seb, the father of my baby. Supportive, caring, and wonderful. Thank you for letting me into your life, Sebastian, I know you don’t let many people in, and I’m honored you deemed me worthy.”

I shake my head, then look away from her because I can’t look at her when I say, “You say that as though there was ever any doubt. You’re so much better than me, Lita. Harrison was right the night we met; youaretoo good for me. That plays on my mind a lot. You’re smarter than me, you’re nicer than me—hell, you’re even better at pool than I am. It’s scary for me because I keep waiting for you to realize it and I keep expecting you to tell me to fuck off.”

I swallow heavily and stare out the window of the hotel suite. I feel exposed and vulnerable. I don’t like it, and I’m terrified that she’ll realize the truth of my words now that I’ve pointed it out to her.

“Sebastian Fox”—Lita puts her palm on my cheek and turns my face to hers, forcing me to look in her eyes—“I promise I will never do that, and I keep my promises, always. No matter what happens in life, you will always be this baby’s father. Even if I find a man here in Seattle, get married, and have kids with him, you will bethisbaby’s father. Nobody can ever take that away from you, and I wouldn’t let them.”

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