Page 49 of Sebastian's Baby

I want to kiss you right now.

As I hit send, she looks at me and smiles. She’s so beautiful, and arousal floods through me as my heart begins to pound in my chest. She looks back down at her phone, and I watch with immense satisfaction as she types her response.

Me too. Kissing you is one of my favorite things in the world to do.

She’s looking up at me as though she wants me to kiss her, and I wish I could just do it, but I can’t. I am aware that we have basically become a show for the other patients in the waiting room to watch. Even the receptionist is looking over at us without pretending not to.

It feels like forever before a woman wearing scrubs comes out and calls, “Lolita Ciccone?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

Several people nearby look over as we stand and walk past them, and Lita sighs quietly next to me. I feel guilty again because I’m pretty sure people are going to find out about her sooner rather than later.

As soon as we’re in the hallway and out of sight of the other patients, I take her hand in mine. I stroke her skin with my thumb, and she smiles at me. We’re taken into a room with a medical bed and an ultrasound machine. The woman who brought us here asks Lita to lie on the bed and gets me to sit on a chair next to Lita’s head.

“Hi Lita, my name’s Kim, and I’m the sonographer for Dr. Watson,” the woman smiles at Lita.

I reach down and link my hand with Lita’s again, stroking her skin with my thumb as Lita replies, “Hi.”

“I assume you’re the father?” Kim asks me.

I get a surprising amount of pride at this question and smile at her. “Yes, I am.”

“Lovely,” Kim says to me.

“We don’t know if we’re keeping it yet,” Lita says quickly, and I stiffen.

Of course. She still hasn’t made a decision.

I wonder if Kim is going to be judgmental of Lita, but she’s completely professional when she says, “I see. That’s okay. Dr. Watson will be able to talk through your options. I’m just here to take a look in there and see that everything is tracking along okay.”

Kim has Lita pull her top up under her breasts, and her jeans down,and she places a protective sheet over Lita’s clothes before she says, “Okay then, Lita, this is going to be cold on your stomach. Then we’ll see what’s going on in there.”

Lita nods, and Kim squirts some gel on her stomach before putting the bottle aside and placing a wand on top of it. A TV screen hanging on the wall in front of us lights up, and there’s a tiny white blob displayed on it amidst grainy blackness.

“Can you see the head?” Kim indicates where it is on the screen.

“There are tiny arms and legs as well,” Lita gasps as she sees it.

I see it, too, and I squeeze Lita’s hand, kind of amazed by what’s on the screen right now. It’s strange that this little thing is inside of her.

“That’s right,” Kim smiles at Lita. “Now, I’m just going to take a few measurements, then we’ll listen to the heartbeat.”

Kim is silent for a few minutes while she takes several pictures of the baby and measures its various proportions before she says, “Okay, we’ll listen to the heartbeat now.”

She focuses the wand on a tiny flickering on the screen before she presses a button. The room is filled with a thrumming noise. It’s fast, and the musician in me can’t resist timing it. It’s a bit under three beats per second, so roughly a hundred and seventy beats per minute.

Without a doubt, it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard, and my throat closes over as tears come to my eyes. I stare at the tiny flickering and can hardly believe that it’s my baby’s heartbeat. I want more than anything for this creature to always be protected, and I feel strangely connected to Lita right now.

I don’t know what choice she’s going to make, but as I look down at her, she’s staring at the screen with tears running down her cheeks. I’ve never wanted to be tied to one person, but I don’t mind this. I don’t mind that Lita and I will be connected for a long time. She’s awesome, and we have fun together. We can be a family, even if it is a strange one. I have plenty of money to take care of her and the baby. I really hope that’s the choice she makes.

“Can you hear that?” Kim smiles at us. “It’s measuring at one hundred and sixty-seven today. That’s a nice, strong heart rate for ten weeks. Do you hear the whooshing sound behind it?” Lita nods and wipes at her eyes as Kim continues, “That’s the placenta, which is your heart rate. Much slower.”

I can hear the whooshing sound she’s talking about and count those. It’s about one and a half every second, so I calculate her heart rate to be almost ninety beats per minute. I’m as fascinated by this sound as the one from the baby. I wonder if I could record these in my studio. The baby’s heartbeat would make an amazing soundtrack for a song.

I try to curb my enthusiasm as we’re led in to meet Dr. Watson, though, because Lita still hasn’t made her decision. As the doctor tells us about how Lita’s pregnancy care will progress, she doesn’t ask at all about termination, and I’m relieved.

We thank the doctor and leave her office. Lita pays for the appointment and books an anatomy scan for her twentieth week of pregnancy. This seems like a positive sign for Lita wanting to go through with this.

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