Page 44 of Sebastian's Baby

I collapse on top of her, breathing heavily, and manage to say between breaths, “You’re amazing, Lita.”

“You’re all right, I guess,” she says and gives me a cheeky grin as I raise my head to look at her.

I laugh, and we head to the bathroom, where we shower together and clean up before making our way back to the bed. We climb into the bed, and I pull her into my arms, holding her tight as we talk.

“Are we going to do this or not, Seb?”

“It’s entirely your choice, princess,” I shrug my shoulders because it’s true, and I don’t want to sway her one way or another.

“Yeah, but it affects you. For the last three weeks, I’ve been so sure I wouldn’t have the baby. Hearing Cooper write off the pregnancy so casually, though. I don’t know. It made me think.” She purses her lips.

That was the moment that got to me, too, but I still don’t want to influence her, so I say, “As I said, I’m here for you either way.”

“If I have the baby, and we live out here, when will you even see them?”

I frown at her as I truly consider it. Seattle is just a plane ride away. We can easily see each other whenever we want to.

“I’ll come visit, and you guys can come see me too. When we’re together, we can fuck.” I wink at her, envisaging future weekends like this one.

“I don’t think I’m built for that, Sebastian,” she says hesitantly.

I raise an eyebrow at her and joke, “The fucking? I’d beg to differ.”

I kiss her deeply, taking my time and exploring her mouth with my tongue. She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me back. We kiss for a long time before we stop, and Lita continues what she was saying.

“No, I can fuck just fine. I mean, what you’re offering me. Random sex whenever we happen to see each other. I’ve told you before; I’m under no illusions about what we are or who you are as a person. I just don’t think I could sit around, waiting for you to deign to grace me with your presence like that.”

She sighs, and I consider it. To me, it doesn’t seem like an issue, but obviously, she thinks it is.

“What, specifically, bothers you about it?”

“The same thing most people would dislike,” she laughs, “You off screwing groupies every weekend while I’m in Seattle, raising your kid.”

“So, don’t do that, then. I’ve got a place in Galena; come raise the baby there.”

Now that I’ve suggested it, it seems like the perfect solution. I could see the baby whenever I wanted. Lita and I would also have plenty of time to fuck as well. I wouldn’t be tied to her, and we could just have fun together, no pressure to be anything I’m not. Lita would have everything she could ever need for the baby, too. I could even get a nanny for her if she wanted one.

I’m on this runaway train of thought when Lita smiles at me in a weird way and shakes her head. “No, Sebastian. Just because I’m having your baby doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly be at your beck and call, uprooting my entire life to suit you.”

I’m surprised by how disappointed I feel. This really does seem like the best idea, and I can’t think of another option that would be better.

“Well, fuck, Lita, I don’t know what else I can tell you. You can stay here, and I will promise to come to visit you and the baby as often as I can. Or, you can come to Illinois, and we can be together far more often.” I sigh because I can see she’s not open to the idea of moving to Galena.

“Or, I can end the pregnancy, and you’re free to put your dick where you please without being beholden to a baby mama and kid,” she says.

Her words slice at my heart, and I swear she purposely finds the worst thing to say to me just to hurt me.

“You’re always so cruel to me, Lolita,” I say quietly.

“You were the one who wanted to be free to do who you want when you want,” she shrugs.

“Are you jealous, princess?” I ask out of curiosity.

“Not really. As I said, I know what’s up.”

A small part of me kind of wishes she was jealous, but I’m also glad that she isn’t because it makes it far less complicated for us. I kiss her again, reveling in how good it is, and I know that nothing could ever diminish how good this is between us.

“I was with other women before you, and I was with other women after you. Does knowing that make what we just did any less amazing?”

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