Page 219 of Sebastian's Baby

I grin at her before I turn and pull the chair right up to the bed so I can sit next to her. I take her hand in mine and begin to stroke her skin with my thumb. I’ve missed this. Being close to her and not being able to touch her has been torture. I can’t believe I get to do it now.

She sighs before she says, “I need to ask you, though. Why did you keep going out to clubs and sleeping with other women after you told me that you loved me?”

I feel bad because I wish that I’d never done any of that. “I was hurting a lot, princess. The times that I went out to clubs, I just wanted to get drunk and forget that you didn’t want to be with me. As for sleeping with other women, there’s a reason that there haven’t been any stories about me with other women since then.”

Lita frowns and is silent for a few seconds before she asks, “What do you mean? Are you telling me that you haven’t been sleeping with anyone else?”

“That’s correct, princess. When I told you that Seattle was the only place that I could get epic sex, I really meant it.”

“You took a woman to a hotel the night you first told me that you loved me. I heard you tell Heather when she called you from the bachelorette party.”

I nod. “I did. I was so hurt; you’d rejected me and told me to do it, so I did. I got her back to the hotel, and she was even naked on the bed, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I realized that I didn’t want her. I just wanted you, except you didn’t want me.

“So, she left, and I felt like shit. I didn’t want to go back to the apartment because you were there, and you didn’t want me. I stayed at the hotel instead. Heather called me in the morning and just assumed that I’d slept with the other woman. I was angry and hurting, so I didn’t correct her.”

Lita starts to cry, and I feel terrible when she asks, “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t sleeping with anyone else?”

I pass her some tissues and say, “I knew what everyone thought. You kept talking about not wanting me and mentioning the idea of some future with a man who wasn’t me. It was so fucking painful, so I let everyone keep thinking that I was sleeping with other women.”

“But you didn’t come home on those nights. If you weren’t sleeping with anyone, where were you?” Lita asks as she wipes away her tears.

“Hotels, most nights. Sometimes, here in Chicago, I crashed at Hayden’s if Blake wasn’t there and swore him to secrecy.”

“Blake said you were trying to pick up chicks when he was out with you, though.” Lita frowns.

“Blake is a liar and a fucking asshole.” I roll my eyes. “He likes to stir shit. I mean, sometimes fans come up and talk to me when I’m at clubs, but I was never trying to pick anyone up on any of those nights out.”

I wish I’d just sucked up my stupid pride and told her the truth. I was just so sure that she didn’t want me that I was too fucking scared to do it.

Lita shakes her head and asks, “You really haven’t slept with anyone else since that day on the plane?”

“Since before then, actually. I was following the grounds rules while I was with you in Seattle.” I shrug. “It’s more than just preferring sex with you; I don’t want to be with anyone else, princess.”

“I don’t want to be with anyone else either,” Lita says, and I love hearing it.

“So, what does this mean for us?”

“I need time to process this,” Lita tells me. “I was expecting to offer the idea of going back to our initial agreement. Sleeping together when we’re in the same city, no randoms, etc.”

I shake my head at her. “I don’t want that. I want to be beholden to my baby mama and kid. I want to be the boyfriend that you move into your new apartment. I want to be able to tell the entire fucking world that I’m in love with you and that every other woman on the face of the planet sucks.”

“That’s probably going a bit too far,” Lita laughs.

I grin and concede, “You’re right; my mom and my nonna are pretty cool.”

“So are mine. Okay, so to be clear. What are you offering me?”

I think about what I’m offering her, and it’s the same thing that I want from her.

“Me.”

Because all I want is her.

“Yeah, I’m going to need a little more information than that.” Lita smiles at me.

“You accused me of not having thought about it that day on the plane. Well, it’s pretty much all I’ve thought about since then, princess. I want arealrelationship with you. I want to be your boyfriend. I will stay here, or I will move to Seattle; what I do depends on what you do. Obviously, I’m going to have to go away for theGames We Playtour, but other than that, I don’t want to be away from you. I love you, Lolita Ciccone.”

“I love you, too, Sebastian Fox.”

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