“I’m confident that the surgery will go well. You’ll only be two days before the third trimester. I’ve done this surgery on much earlier pregnancies than yours.”
“What if she dies?” Lita asks before she bursts into tears.
It’s the same fear that I have. It kills me to see her hurting like this. I have to believe that Mirabella will get through this because the alternative is too agonizing to think about it. I want to hug Lita, but nothing has changed between us. She hasn’t given me any indication that Heather was right, and our ground rules are still in place.
“I can’t make promises to you, Lita. I can say that I am confident that she will come through the surgery fine, but I can’t pretend that there aren’t risks, and the chance of a poor outcome will always be there.
“I can assure you, though, that the surgery is necessary. The tumor has continued to grow, and while her heart function remains stable, that’s okay, but the tumor formed early and has grown at a rapid rate for one of these cases. We have been fortunate to put off your operation this far, getting to twenty-seven weeks is a very good gestation for in-utero surgery.
“Okay. Thanks, Eric.” Lita nods.
She seems determined, and I know that being in the weird space of knowing Lita needed surgery but not knowing when it would happen has been hard for us both. We only have one and a half weeks now before it will finally happen.
34
LEVEL 26.5 – The Good Doctor
Lita’s wearinga hospital gown and lying in a bed in a private room at the hospital. Dr. Hunt, her anesthetist, has just visited her to discuss the surgery, and she’s waiting to be taken in.
Her parents arrived in Chicago on Wednesday afternoon to celebrate Christmas early with us because Lita can’t be in Seattle this year, as well as to be here for her surgery.
We went to Giovanni’s for dinner and spent yesterday sightseeing at Navy Pier. Unfortunately, our visit was cut short when some fans started following us around the place, and shortly after that, the paparazzi arrived, which was when we promptly left. Her parents stayed at my apartment when I brought Lita here today, and they’ll be waiting there for news of the surgery.
I’m sitting in a chair next to her bed, and she tells me, “I think that I’m going to be sick.”
I know exactly how she feels, and I tell her, “Me too. I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to either of you.”
I can’t even bring myself to sugarcoat it for her. I can barely breathe, and I’m running through every single worst-case scenario in my head.
“If it’s a choice…” Lita trails off as tears start to fall, and I’m horrified by what she’s suggesting.
“Lita, don’t,” I beg her.
She wipes at her tears, then continues, ignoring my request. “I need to tell you, Sebastian. If something goes wrong and it’s a choice between her and me, I want you to choose her.”
The thought of being in a position where I’m told that I need to choose between Mirabella and Lita is soincrediblypainful that I feel like my heart is shattering in my chest. I imagine telling the doctors to let Lita die, and it breaks me. The alternate option of telling them to let Mirabella die is just as bad.
“It won’t be a choice. It will never come to that,” I tell her, shaking my head as if these aren’t the things that have been playing in the darkest corners of my mind for over a month. “I’ve heard what you said, Lita, but I can’t think about either option.”
I look into her beautiful brown eyes and pray silently that she won’t make me talk about these options any longer. Luckily, her phone buzzes, and it distracts us both from the conversation. I can’t help but read it when I see the text from Hayden pop up.
Good luck today, Lita. I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.
She smiles when she reads it. They’ve become friends since she started working on our game. He’s been helping her with it, and I’m glad because I know it’s given her something to focus on that isn’t today.
“Your favorite band member hasn’t even texted me. Tell him I’m completely offended,” I joke with a grin at her.
“Will do,” Lita says as she types a message to him.
I watch her as she writes a response with a smile on her face, and my heart hurts. This might be the last time I ever talk to her. My worries about the surgery come rushing back, but I push them aside when Lita laughs out loud.
I look up as she says, “Check your texts. He says to stop being so needy.”
I pick up my phone and look at the screen to see a message from Hayden.
Good luck today. Call me if you need to talk or anything. It’s going to be okay.
“Oh, he did text me. My bad,” I tell Lita.