Page 172 of Sebastian's Baby

“I don’t care about fun; I care about you. I’ve been worried about you, I still am. I’m worried about her too. This is scary shit, and I don’t know how to make it better.”

Lita frowns. “You can’t, Seb. That’s the thing. Nobody can make it better, except maybe the doctors. I hate not knowing what’s going to happen, not being able to plan. The thought of suddenly being whisked off to Los Angeles for surgery is scary as hell for me. Not knowing the doctor? How do I trust that they’ll be able to do what we need them to do?”

Her eyes fill with tears, and I can see how stressed she is by this idea, so I suggest, “Let’s wait and see what Dr. Sanders says on Friday. Maybe we can meet the doctor that would operate if it’s needed.”

“That’s a good idea.” Lita looks down at her phone again, then asks, “Mirabella? Wondrous beauty.”

Wondrous beauty.

It’s kind of perfect, and I tell her, “I actually really like it.” I hesitate for a second, then suggest, “Also, what about Valentina as a middle name? It means healthy and strong. Which she is.”

It’s my mom’s middle name, and the meaning works, plus I think it’ll mean a lot to Mom.

“Mirabella Valentina Fox.” Lita says slowly before giving me a breathtaking smile. “It’s beautiful.”

“Mira,” I say, trying it out as a nickname and loving it. “Our bella. We can keep looking for another name if you want, though?”

Lita rubs her bump and whispers, “Do you like your name, Mira? We can’t wait to meet you, baby. Please just stay safe for us. Be strong.”

My love for Lita and Mira is so incredibly overwhelming. Seeing Lita talk to our baby girl, pleading with her to stay safe, brings tears to my eyes, and I can’t stop them, despite my determination to keep it together for Lita.

She looks up at me, and her eyes widen when she sees that I’m crying. She places a hand on my cheek; it’s warm, soft, and deeply comforting.

“Thank you for being here with me for all of this.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else right now. Sorry that I’m crying like a girl.” I laugh, feeling embarrassed that I’m doing it in front of her.

Lita frowns. “No, Seb. Not like a girl. Like a man. It’s okay to have emotions, and it’s okay to cry, and you shouldn’t ever feel bad for crying. Certainly not in front of me. I don’t know how I would’ve handled any of this without you. You’ve been strong as hell, and crying doesn’t make you less strong. You’re just human, not superhuman.”

“I want to be superhuman. I want to be your hero.” I give her a wry grin.

“You are my hero. You’re the man who is going through this with me. I need a human being to help me, someone who feels the same way I do about Mira. You are uniquely qualified to fulfill this role.”

“Phew! For a moment there, I thought that I might not get the job,” I joke with a laugh.

It’s strange to laugh, honestly. I haven’t been doing much of it either. My birthday party is only two and a half weeks away, and it’s been on my mind because I’m not sure if I want to have it anymore.

I tell Lita, “Look, I’ve been thinking about canceling my birthday party.”

“What?” she asks, looking shocked.

“I don’t think that you really want to celebrate, and neither do I. We’d have to fly to Chicago, and I don’t know if that’s a good idea. It just doesn’t feel right to celebrate right now.”

Lita takes a deep breath and seems to think about it before she says, “Let’s ask Dr. Sanders on Friday about me flying. If he says it’s okay, I’ll come. If not, you should still go without me. I don’t want you to miss out, Seb.”

I frown. “We can ask, but if he says you can’t fly, I don’t want to go without you.” I move closer to Lita on the sofa and rub her stomach softly. “I don’t want to be in Chicago if something happens.”

Lita sighs. “That makes sense.”

We spend the rest of the afternoon watching Netflix, but Lita is far more interactive, which is a relief. Then she cooks dinner for us, and I really love just living my life with her. I sit to her left at the tiny dining table as we eat the steak and vegetables she cooked for our dinner.

I look around the barren apartment and tell her, “I really need to buy you some more furniture for this place.”

Lita frowns at me. “No, you don’t. I’m not renting this as a furnished apartment, and I’ve got my stuff.”

“Yeah, but it is pretty bare in here. There’s even an echo.” I grin at her.

“No, Seb. You’re my landlord, not my boyfriend. You can buy things for your room and the nursery, that’s it.”

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