Page 128 of Sebastian's Baby

Lita laughs. “I’m not surprised. Come on; I need to get something to eat.”

She leads the way toward the kitchen, and I walk behind her, enjoying the view of her ass. Fucking hell. She was always attractive to me, but it’s like I can’t think of anything else but fucking her now that she’s off-limits. I take a seat at the kitchen bench and watch her as she makes herself a sandwich.

“Do you want anything?” she asks as she points the butter knife she’s holding at me.

I’m not hungry yet, so I joke, “No, but I’m feeling oddly threatened by you pointing a knife at me like that.”

Lita laughs. “Whoops, sorry. So, what are you planning to do today?”

I think about it as Lita puts away the ingredients she’s used to make her sandwich and gets herself a glass of juice.

“I don’t really have anything planned,” I shrug. “Might watch you work some more.”

It wasn’t an unpleasant way to spend the morning. Scrolling the internet on my phone and looking at Lita whenever I felt like it.

Lita shakes her head and swallows the bite she’s taken of her sandwich before saying, “Uh, no, weirdo, you are not going to spend your days sitting here and watching me code, like some kind of creeper. What do you normally do during the day?”

“As I told you, it depends on what we’re doing. At the moment, we’re basically in super-relaxed mode. Sometimes, I’ll travel somewhere and take a holiday. Usually, when I’m at home in Chicago, I’ll chill out and play video games, watch Netflix, or hang out with friends and family. Do whatever comes up.”

“Like fuck strange women,” she jokes.

Lolita Ciccone. The woman who has the uncanny ability to verbally stab me through the heart.

I try to breathe through the intense pain that her casual reminder that she doesn’t give a shit if I sleep with women other than her brings to me and say, “Yes, like fuck strange women.”

An awkward silence falls between us, and Lita takes a sip of her juice while I try to figure out when the fuck I became a romantic idiot who falls in love with a woman.

“Maybe you can do some more apartment hunting today? This place is nice, but it would be good to have a place where I have my own things, rather than someone else’s,” Lita suggests.

“Sure, I can do that if you want.” I remember my promise that I wouldn’t make decisions for her, and I want to stick by that, so I ask, “Are you sure that you don’t want to come with me?”

“No, it’s fine, it’s your apartment; I’ll just be renting it.”

I can’t help but frown because, again, she seems to want to remind me that our lives are completely separate and only connected by our baby.

It takes me a few seconds to be able to say, “I meant what I said, though, princess. I don’t want to make decisions for you, so I’d really like your input. This is going to be the place where you and the baby will live. I want you to be safe, but I also want you to be happy.”

“That’s very kind, Sebastian; thank you so much.”

Lita bursts into tears as she says it, and I’m worried that I’ve somehow managed to upset her.

“Are you okay, Lita?”

Lita just laughs through her tears and nods. “Yes. Fucking pregnancy hormones. It’s just so thoughtful of you. Also, I hate these hormones; I can’t stop crying at every goddamn thing.”

I’m struck by how much I really do love her, even if she doesn’t want me to, and I can’t resist pulling her into me for a hug. It’s the first time I’ve touched her since Saturday, and she feels so absolutely perfect in my arms. I have a memory of dancing with the brunette woman at the nightclub. Even without my memory being totally clear, I know that it felt nothing like this.

“I guess we also need to talk about what you’re going to do now. When are you going back to Chicago?” Lita asks.

Just like that, she reminds me of my place in her life. I’m her baby daddy. I’m not her boyfriend. She doesn’t even want to fuck me anymore. She wants me to fuck strange women.

I drop my arms from around her and sit back up before I shrug my shoulders. “I guess after I’ve got your apartment sorted, I can go back home.”

Lita nods before she picks up her empty plate and glass and takes them to the sink to rinse them out while I stand from the stool and head back to the guest room.

When I get there, I call Vincent and ask if he’s free to look at apartments this afternoon. I just want to get out of this place and stop focusing on Lita so much. I don’t commit to any of the apartments we see, but there are some promising ones I want to show to Lita tonight.

Daryl takes me to get Chinese takeout on the way home, which I sit down to eat with Lita while I tell her about the apartments Vincent showed me.

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