Page 124 of Sebastian's Baby

I break our kiss and say to the woman, “Just give me a minute to use the bathroom.”

“Of course,” she says with a smile.

I head into the bathroom and close the door. There’s a spa bath, and I sit on the edge of it, then drop my head into my hands. The world has finally stopped spinning, and I think my buzz is wearing off. I’ve tried everything today to make it stop fucking hurting, but it hasn’t. All I want is for Lita to love me, and she doesn’t.

Fuck, at this point, I’d like to go back to this morning and not tell her I’m in love with her on the plane. I can imagine that this night would’ve gone a lot differently if I hadn’t. I could’ve had fun with my friends and gone back to her tonight. Instead, I’ve got some strange woman whose name I don’t even really remember in the next room waiting for me to fuck her.

The thought of it fills me with guilt. I can’t do it, but Lita told me to do it. I sigh and stand up, then splash some water on my face and pat it dry with a towel. I open the door to the bedroom, and the woman is lying naked on the bed.

“Hi,” she says in a seductive voice.

“You need to leave,” I tell her.

Her face falls, and she asks, “Why?”

Fuck. I’m not meant to do this anymore. I’m meant to treat women better. It’s part of the ground rules. Are they even in place anymore? Either way, I need to try and handle this better.

“I’m sorry, it’s not you. It’s just that I love my baby mama. You’re very sexy”—I nod at her—“but she is the best. I told her that I love her, and she doesn’t love me, but I love her anyway, and I can’t have sex with you,” I say in a rush.

The woman blinks at me and shakes her head. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Can you cover up, please? It really isn’t you. Look, if this had been a week ago, I’d be happy to fuck you, but I’m in love with Lita, so I can’t do this. I really need you to leave.” I remember the paparazzi outside and cringe. “If you want, you can stay here and I’ll leave, so you don’t have to go back through the paparazzi.”

“Fuck you, Sebastian Fox.” She glares at me as she climbs out of the bed and quickly pulls on her clothes. “Don’t do me any favors. You’re a fucking asshole.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.” I cringe.

She gives me the finger and walks out of the room, attempting to slam the door on the way out, but it has a soft close hinge, so it just whooshes to an almost closed position instead. The door of the hotel suite opens and closes, then I’m left alone.

I’ve never felt more shit. Lita doesn’t love me. I want to go home, but she’s there, not loving me. I’m suddenly exhausted, and I kick my shoes off, then collapse in the bed.

* * *

I groanas a much-too-loud ringing noise wakes me up. My head is pounding, and I can barely stand the noise.

“Fuck offffff,” I yell, then regret it as my head throbs and the ringing continues.

I try to get my bearings and realize I’m in a hotel room. I have vague memories of last night. Getting wasted at a bar before Gabriel’s party. Bringing a woman back to this hotel, I groan again as the memory of her angry face when I told her to leave appears in my mind.

The ringing won’t stop, so I look around to find it’s the hotel phone and I pick it up before saying, “Hello?”

“Mr. Fox. I’m very sorry to call, but your checkout time was ten this morning. Do you need me to organize a late checkout for you?”

My name? God, I must’ve been completely wasted last night. I never use my real name when checking into a hotel, especially not for hookups.

“Yes, please. Actually, book another night and charge it to my card. I don’t want to rush out of here.”

“Of course, sir.”

I hang up and flop onto my back, throwing my arm over my eyes as I do. Fucking hell, this is a goddamn mess. Everything from yesterday with Lita comes rushing back to me, crystal clear, unlike my memories after arriving at the bar.

“I can’t love you the way you want me to.”

So. Fucking. Painful.

I wish I didn’t love her. If anything, last night has only made me more sure that I do, and I have no goddamn clue what to do about that. How the hell am I supposed to cope with her not loving me? How am I meant to have a baby with this woman when she doesn’t love me? She already has a talent for hurting me, but now…I hate myself for falling for her at all.

I’m hungry, so I call room service and order a hot breakfast to be delivered, then look at the time to see that it’s ten thirty-five. Lita will be going to Ariana’s bachelorette party this morning. I guess I’ll see her afterward, but I don’t know what I’m going to say to her.

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