Page 114 of Sebastian's Baby

Because she’s her, I know that she’s not lying when she says this, and I’m curious enough to ask, “Are you in love with me, Lolita Ciccone?”

“No, but I love you more than I’ve loved any man before, if that makes sense?”

I smile at her, because it’s nice to know that she values me this highly now, and I tell her, “I think it does.” I think about what she said, and she’s said it in the past, too, so I ask, “You’ve said before that you won’t fall in love with me. Do you think falling in love is something you can actively avoid?”

“You’ve managed it for a decade, haven’t you?” Lita gives me a wry smile.

I know I’ve felt a bit weird about Heather since I had that discussion with Lita, so I ask, “Do you feel odd about seeing Heather tomorrow?”

Lita frowns and doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Well, I hadn’t. Not until you asked that. Does she know?”

“No,” I admit. “As I said, I always knew she didn’t love me. Heather only ever loved Harrison. We all knew they would end up together. I’m surprised it took them as long as it did. I knew the day that I watched them go upstairs at her party that whatever I felt for her was finished. I wouldn’t sit and be the jealous best friend. My friends were both finally happy, and I was happy for them.”

It’s close to the truth. I told myself I was happy for them, but I wonder now if I really was. I do know that I was determined not to be jealous, if only for the band’s sake.

“So why the jokes about you two having sex? I know the whole ‘lover’ thing started because of the rumors, but Heather said you used to say stuff about her leaving Harrison for you, and how she’s so sexy and stuff, long before that.”

Oh god, that’s a minefield.

I look into her eyes and give her a wry smile. “Oh, princess, do you really want to crawl into my messy brain and try and sort it out?”

“Yeah,” Lita laughs. “I mean,if your baby’s mother can’t do it, who can?”

“I guess because I could have sex with any woman I wanted, but I’d never had Heather. I get a sick kind of humor out of joking about it.”

I think it’s also because I know I’ll never have her. It’s funny to joke about it because she was the one woman I could never have.

“As I told you, I shut those feelings away many, many years ago. I would never come between those two. Hell, I don’t think anyone could if they tried, and I have no desire to try.” I smile at Lita.

She frowns at me. “So, you shut those feelings away, right? What happens if you open the door now?”

“I fall madly in love with Heather and try to get her away from Harrison?”

I say as seriously as I can manage before laughing. It’s funny because since I met Lita, any longing that I had deep down for Heather seems to have disappeared. I still love her, but I’ve been more focused on this new life with Lita.

“I’m kidding. Nothing, Lita. I’m not harboring some secret desire for Heather. I’m happy with my life. More importantly, I’m happy with you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, too,” I admit.

I lift my hand to her chin and tilt her face up to mine before I lean down and kiss her deeply. Our tongues intertwine, and I enjoy this moment and being with Lita before our kiss ends.

“You should know that you can’t force intimacy on me by telling me you’ve secretly been in love with your best friend’s wife for a decade,” Lita tells me with a cheeky grin as she echoes her words from the night we met.

“I wasn’t aware that’s what I was doing, princess,” I laugh, then kiss her again, thinking that I could never have imagined back then how good this would turn out. “God, you’re the best, Lita.”

“Why am I the best, Sebastian?” she asks.

I think about all the reasons she’s the best and say, “Because, I don’t know, you make me laugh. Because I trust you enough to tell you the one thing I’ve never told anyone.”

This is pretty huge because I thought I would take that secret to my grave.

“Because you’re having my baby. Because you’re sexy as fuck when you come while moaning my name.” My cock jerks as the sound of it plays in my mind. “Because you’re too good for me, but you keep me around anyway. Do you need more reasons?” I ask, feeling amused.

“Yeah, I do,” Lita laughs. “This is the best confidence boost I’ve had in a while!”

I try to think of some other reasons that she’s so fucking awesome, and I say, “Because you’re the only woman I’ve ever fucked without a condom. Oh, and because you’re the only woman I’ve ever fucked at Galena. Because you’re the only woman who’s ever beaten me at pool.”

I grin at her because I’ve thought of a really fucking good one.

“Because you’re determined to take ten thousand dollars off me and because I can’t wait for you to do it. Did I mention our baby? Because I feel like our baby deserves a second mention. Because you told Cooper to fuck off.”

---