Page 64 of The Stalker

He frowned at her and didn’t respond as she stood there glaring at him.

Finally, he sighed and said, “Of course it’s terrifying, which I hate. I’ve always loved being onstage.”

Tatiana hated herself for bringing the worried look back to his face. She remembered his joy and excitement earlier this morning, and she couldn’t stand that she had stolen that from him.

“I’m sorry, Hayden. You’re not meant to be terrified.” She sighed and walked back to the sofa to sit next to him again, focusing on her breathing and trying to calm herself down as she did. “That wasn’t fair of me. I’m not used to being scared, but I also don’t normally care about my clients. People are just jobs. I care about them in the sense that I want to keep them safe, and I know exactly what I need to do to be successful at that. I’ve never cared in the sense that I’m truly concerned about how I would cope if I failed to keep you safe.”

The thought of Hayden being harmed was so incredibly painful. He’d told her why he cared about her, but she didn’t want to think about why she cared for him.

She looked him in the eyes and begged, “Please just believe me when I say that us being nothing more than friends is the best way for me to keep you safe.”

Hayden looked into her eyes, and she had no idea what she would do if he pushed her on this. She’d blown any chance of remaining professional with him sometime near the beginning of this conversation. Her resolve was as thin as a sheet of ice, and it was cracking with every second that he looked at her.

“What’s said can’t be unsaid, Tati. But okay. I’m hearing what you’re saying, and I get it. We can be friends who pretend they don’t want to fuck each other.”

-

My love,

I hope that you dream of me sometimes. That you think of me even half as much as I think of you. I know that you do, but I wish that you could tell me so.

Do you know how hard it is for me to wait for you? I struggle to maintain the patience to wait for our life together to begin. Although, it feels like it began long ago.

What point will be the official beginning of our relationship? Does it start when we’re finally together as a couple? Or does it start when our love began? I can’t decide, but maybe you can tell me your thoughts when we’re together.

I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on anything, to be honest. Do you know how much I long to have a conversation with you? Just you and me. Talking about the world. No interviewers with their inane questions. No friends giving their unwanted opinions. No managers talking over you. Just you talking to the person who loves you and wants to hear your thoughts more than anybody else in the world.

Is it crazy that I long for the mundanity of our future relationship? I don’t want red carpets and concerts. I want everyday life with you. Watching Netflix and cooking dinner. Sleeping beside you every night. Being the person you love more than anyone else in the world.

That is our future and the one I am working towards. You are my heart, my soul, my everything.

XOXO

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