Page 171 of The Stalker

She wanted to go back in time and never trust Daniel. She wallowed in self-hatred for her mistake, blaming herself for the fact that Hayden was in this position. She gave a shaky sob and bit her lip to try and stop the sound from being too loud.

She wanted to scream obscenities and rage at the unfairness of the situation, that she found a man to love and who loved her, only for this to happen. It felt as though her entire being was splitting into pieces and she intensely hated the idea of him never returning to her.

She was so focused on her internal agony that she didn’t hear the door handle turn next to her.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Ariana said quickly, then gasped. “Tatiana? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

She looked up at the brunette woman who was staring down at her with concern in her expression. Tatiana had intended to clean herself up after she’d taken this moment to herself, never expecting this intrusion on her sorrow from one of Hayden’s friends.

She quickly slashed at the tears running down her face and said in a shaky voice, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m so sorry. I just—”

She didn’t have a way to end the sentence, so she stopped talking and stood to walk over to the basin, where she splashed her face with water. She sighed as she looked in the mirror and Ariana caught her gaze.

“I’m just upset at how badly I handled this contract,” she said.

That’s not exactly untrue.

“I see. Well, I’m sorry you’re so upset. It’s nothing aside from that, though?”

Tatiana turned to face her and she could barely stand Ariana’s compassion. It went against everything within her to be open and honest with people. Information was always split into two categories. ‘Need to know’ and ‘not need to know.’ But she wanted a future with Hayden, and these people whose world she was currently visiting would inevitably be a part of that future. Their secret couldn’t hurt him anymore.

“I’m in love with Hayden,” she admitted.

Cat’s out of the bag now. Ariana will tell Gabriel.

It was a relief to tell her, though. To not have to hide how badly she was breaking from losing the man she loved.

Ariana nodded. “I wondered if Heather was right when you turned up here today. Does Hayden know this?”

“Yeah, we’re together and have been for a while. We were hiding it because I didn’t want to risk his safety, not that it matters now,” Tatiana said and burst into a fresh set of tears.

Ariana walked over to her and put her arms around her. “This isn’t your fault, Tatiana. Daniel had us all fooled. Gabriel’s been blaming himself as well. He thinks that if he’d just gone with Hayden, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Tatiana said, and pulled back to look at Ariana. “If he’d gone with him, Daniel probably would’ve just drugged him, too.”

“Well, that’s what I said, but he doesn’t hear it. I kind of get the feeling you’re blaming yourself in a similar way.” Ariana dropped her arms to her sides and raised an eyebrow at Tatiana.

“Of course I am. I was responsible for Hayden’s safety. Gabriel wasn’t. It’s literally my job to expect to be drugged and stop it from happening.”

“You're still human, though, and you were taken advantage of. The blame for this lies squarely on Daniel and whoever the stalker is. Not you and not Gabriel or any of the guys.”

Tatiana took a deep breath and blew it out. “I know that logically, but I still feel guilty.”

“I’m sure you do, but I’m just telling you that you’re not to blame so you at least hear it from someone.” Ariana gave her a kind smile and wrinkled her nose as she rubbed her small baby bump. “Um, sorry to be a pain, but I’m going to need to use the toilet very soon.”

Tatiana actually laughed and said, “Sorry. Harrison was in the other room. I’ll get out of your way.”

She quickly splashed her face with water again and dried it on a hand towel before heading toward the door.

“Don’t feel pressured to go back out there straight away. You can use our room if you need another minute or two.”

Ariana’s kindness almost broke Tatiana again, but she blew out a breath and nodded. “Thanks.”

She walked back into the master bedroom and sat on an armchair near the windows. She looked out at San Antonio and wondered where Hayden was. She focused on controlling her breathing and shut her fears away again. It was time to go back to what she needed to do and find him.

When she came out from the bathroom, Ariana walked over and sat in an armchair opposite Tatiana. “Are you planning to tell the guys about your relationship?”

“I wasn’t going to. Mostly because it’s just an added layer to what’s happening right now, but I didn’t expect to get caught crying in Gabriel’s bathroom, either.” She gave Ariana a rueful smile.

“Look. If you don’t want to tell them, I won’t. Let’s just get Hayden back safely, and then you can tell them together. It’ll be something to look forward to.”

That’s if you get him back safely.

“Thank you, Ariana,” Tatiana whispered in the face of her dark thoughts.

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