I swallow heavily and feel the nausea rising. We walk next to each other as we head back to the bank of elevators. I can’t stand this. I don’t want to be near Maddy. I can smell her, and she smells like last night. I think I’m going to vomit again, and I’m still crying.
As we wait for the elevator, Gabriel turns to both of us. “Guys, I know you’re both…” he trails off and then seems to consider his words. “You’re going to need to try and keep it together until we’re in the limousine.”
I can hear the meaning behind his words. Paparazzi. I slash at the tears falling from my eyes, but my body seems out of my control.
“I can’t. I’m sorry. I hurt Heather,” I mumble and a fresh wave of tears hits me.
I feel a small hand on my elbow and Ariana’s voice is calm when she says, “Yes, you can, Harrison. Breathe and look at me. You can do this, okay?”
I follow her instructions and look into her eyes as I breathe in and out. The memories from last night come back and my breathing quickens as the tears return.
“No, Harrison. Fight it. Breathe slowly. Just until we get to the limousine, okay?” Ariana says in a calm, measured voice.
I nod once, inhale deeply, and let out a shaky breath. I keep doing this until we reach the lobby.
“You can do this,” Ariana repeats.
I’m glad she thinks so, because I very much donotthink that I can do this. I want to curl into a ball and cry for the rest of my life. Or go back in time and not do what I did last night.
As the elevator doors open, I see the throng of people standing at the entrance immediately. There’s more than I would even have expected. I wonder why the hell the limousine is picking us up from the front instead of from around the back of the hotel.
I can’t really do this, but my media training kicks in automatically. I stand a little straighter, breathe deeply, and force a neutral expression onto my face. A smile would be too difficult to find, but not giving a hint of the overwhelming sadness and hurt that I’m feeling is manageable.
It’s barely twenty seconds before we reach the entrance, and Ariana thanks the hotel manager for his kindness as the doors open. Questions are immediately being yelled at us from every direction.
“Who’s the woman you slept with last night, Harrison?”
I almost vomit over the person who asks this. They know. They know I cheated on Heather.
“What’s your name, girly?” another reporter asks Maddy.
“So, you cheated on Heather? Is it because she’s screwing Sebastian?” someone else asks.
Cheated. On. Heather.
I hate myself. I can’t do this. I want to run and hide. Somebody turns a large tablet screen to face me and when I see it, I halt in my tracks.
There’s a picture on there that causes a stabbing pain to my heart. Guilt and shame and nausea combine to cause a knot in my stomach that I can barely breathe through. It’s Maddy and me in bed together. I don’t know when this was taken, but from the looks of it, maybe this morning.
I realize that someone was in the room with us and they took a picture of us in bed together, and I feel utterly violated. Maddy is lying with her head on my chest and the sheets are low around our waists. It isveryobvious that we are naked.
Gabriel grabs my arm and yanks me toward the limousine. I can’t get the picture out of my head, it’s like it’s been seared on my corneas, and it’s the only thing I can see. Gabriel guides me to the car and I follow blindly. Questions are being called to me, but all I can think about is Heather.
As soon as the limousine door is closed, I call her again.
“You’ve called Heather York, I’m unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
I grimace as soon as I hear it and the tears hit again. “Please call me, Heather. As soon as you get this message.”
I can’t stand the looks I’m getting from the other people in the limousine.
“They’re going to tell her,” I growl as this painful realization hits me. “They’re going to show her the pic—” my voice cracks and I can’t continue.
“I’m sorry, Harrison,” Maddy’s small voice says, and I wish she’d stop saying it. “I shouldn’t have done it.”
I shake my head. “No, I’m sorry. I’m engaged. Well, Iwas.”
I’m cold all over at the thought of a life without Heather in it. The pain is absolutely unbearable and sobs wrack my body. My angel is going to be told I cheated on her by the fucking paparazzi. She is going to find out in the worst possible way, and I can’t fucking stop it.