“I know,” she says in a tight voice. “Of course I know. Everyone else remembered. It was impossible that your night was a blackout.”
I nod and swallow heavily. “I’m sorry for lying to you. I lied to everyone, really. The memories”—I pause, then swallow again—“I still feel sick when I think about it. In the early days, it was much worse. Brendan says it’s a trauma response. I also blamed myself for everything, which didn’t help.”
“Harrison, I had no idea,” Heather whispers, looking horrified.
“Nobody did until I finally told Brendan. He’s been helping me come to terms with it.”
She stands and leans down to carefully wrap her arms around my neck. I lift my arms to hold her, ignoring the pain in my chest as I do. As much as I love this, I’m relieved when our hug ends and the physical pain eases.
“I would never have pushed you to talk about it if I’d known.” She chews her bottom lip and looks guilty. “The way I punished you for lying, and the things I said. I’m sorry for those. You were right the day you said I was trying to hurt you.”
I reach out and link my hand with hers again, squeezing it tightly before telling her, “And if I had known that hearing the details about that night could help you, I would’ve told you in a heartbeat. If there’s something I’ve learned from my sessions with Brendan, it’s that we were just trying to cope with what happened the best way we could at the time. We can’t change the past, but we can move forward together. You’re the love of my life, and that has never changed during any of this.”
Heather wipes away tears that are falling from her eyes. “Will we ever get over the pain and fear and hurt from what happened?”
“I don’t know, angel. I really don’t. I think we just keep having therapy sessions and move on with our lives together. We might always feel this way when we think about it, but I think that as time passes, we’ll think about it less.”
It’s true. Back in November, I couldn’t go a full day without being tormented by memories of that night. Now, I can go a few days at a time without it happening. Hopefully, in the future, that will stretch even further.
* * *
My phone was retrievedfrom the scene of the accident, and I have it back by the time I fall asleep. I’m grateful for that the next day, when I get a call from Hayden in the morning as one of the nurses leaves the room after doing my observations.
“Hi, Hayden. How was your day yesterday? Uneventful? Mine, too,” I tell him when I answer his call.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to hear your voice. Fuck, you scared us.” The relief is evident in his voice.
“Well, I didn’t intend for someone to blow a red light and t-bone our SUV,” I laugh, but cut myself off quickly. I looked up the pictures on the internet last night, and they weren’t pretty. I can understand why my friends were worried. “I’m sorry you were worried, though.”
“Shit, you don’t need to apologize. How are you feeling?” he asks.
I remember my conversation with Heather last night, and I can’t help but smile. “Better than you’d expect. They’ve got me on some pretty heavy painkillers, though.”
“Glad to hear you’ve got the good drugs,” he laughs. “Can we visit you today?”
“Yup. Actually, can you do me a favor?”
“Anything,” he tells me.
“Can you bring me the necklace with Heather’s ring on it that’s in my bedside drawer? I didn’t have it on when the crash happened.”
I’ve stopped wearing it since Heather and I started sleeping together again, but I grin when I think about why I need it now.
“Of course. Anything else you need?”
“Ribs that aren’t broken. Got any of those on hand?”
“I do. Unfortunately, I’m using them at the moment,” he teases me.
“Damn. Just a visit from my friends, then, I guess.”
We end our call, and I respond to texts from friends and family before I check the news on my phone and read some emails. Heather arrives while I’m eating breakfast, and I grin at her after she closes the door behind her.
“You can’t spend all day by my hospital bed, you know.” I tease Heather as I pick up my phone and shake it at her. “I’m led to believe you run a very successful fashion label.”
“Which can survive without me for a couple of days, at the very least,” she assures me.
She walks over to me and gives me a kiss before sitting in the chair by my bed.