Page 132 of Harrison's Wedding

It’s true. As much as it’s painful and overwhelming, it’s equally beautiful and wonderful. I miss her so much, and being in her presence is soothing. It’s like the feeling of being in the music room, or having her ring hanging around my neck, but multiplied by a thousand.

Heather reaches her palm up and rests it on my cheek. It’s soft and warm and electric and I love her so much, and I know that going to bed without her tonight is going to be excruciating.

“I do still love you, Harrison,” Heather repeats the sentiment from the day I flew back to Chicago.

I can’t help myself, I turn my face and press my lips to the palm of her hand. Her breathing rate increases as I kiss her palm, and it’s only an instant before she takes a step forward and presses her body against mine.

Heather wraps her arms around my neck and reaches her head up to find my lips with hers. I place my arms around her waist and pull her tighter against me as I kiss her back. Her lips part, and I push my tongue inside to dance with hers. This kiss is primal and visceral, and I put all of my love for her into it.

We kiss for about thirty seconds before Heather’s body stiffens, then she pulls her body away from me and out of my embrace. We stand there for a few moments, staring at one another and breathing heavily. She’s still so close to me that there’s barely an inch of space between us, but that gap might as well be an entire state because I know that she won’t be kissing me again today.

She turns and walks out of the room without saying another word. I don’t know what I should be feeling, but I do know what I am feeling, and it’s something that I haven’t felt since the drugging.

Hope.

March

WILLFUL POISONING CHARGES LAID IN CRUISE CONTROL CASE

According to the information given at a press conference last week, charges have been laid in the Cruise Control drugging case. The Chief of the Los Angeles Police Department, Aaron Hamilton, and the band’s manager, Cooper Powell, appeared together in Chicago to discuss the case.

They did state that the band was drugged the night that Harrison Fletcher cheated on his fiancée, Heather York. However, information was scarce beyond that. No mention was made as to who has been charged, or why they chose to drug the band, who are believed to be the only people who were drugged at the event in question.

The band themselves were not present at the press conference. Harrison Fletcher and Heather York have not been seen in public together since the night in question, and she stopped wearing her engagement ring in January, leading many to believe that the couple have gone their separate ways.

How this new information may play into this remains to be seen.

21

Dirty Thirty

“How have you been this week?” Brendan asks me after I’ve settled myself on the sofa in his office.

“I’m getting there. We’ve been in meetings about the promotion for the album for most of the week.”

“That sounds stressful.”

“It can be,” I agree. “But we’ve got a solid marketing plan, and I’m pretty excited about it.”

Brendan tilts his head to the side and asks, “How do you plan to handle questions about your personal life?”

A mild dart of concern runs through me, but I shake my head and say, “We’ve worked out responses. Mostly along the lines of respecting my personal life.”

I think about the last time I saw Heather. The feeling of her lips against mine as she kissed me back as passionately as I kissed her. The knowledge that the fire is still there between us has kept me going over the last few weeks.

“That makes sense. So, last session, we talked a bit about your feelings to do with the drugging since finding out who was behind it. How are you feeling now?”

“I’m still struggling with that. I don’t blame myself anymore, but it’s painful to feel as though I’m a commodity that’s been used up for what they’re worth. I think what hurts the most is the knowledge that they might go to jail, but it won’t change my situation. I don’t know how to reconcile that.”

I sigh and swallow heavily as I voice the thoughts that weigh on my mind a lot. Knowing that I was a victim hasn’t changed anything. While it has changed my personal feelings on that night, my main hurt now is the loss I’ve suffered in my personal life because of it.

“Those are understandable feelings, Harrison. It will take time to process them and reach a place of healing. What about alcohol? Have you drunk much this week?”

I shake my head. “No. We did go out, but I only had two drinks before I switched to water.”

“How did you cope with the paparazzi in that case?”

I remember their disgusting questions and frown at him. “It wasn’t easy, but I kept my cool. I don’t care about the things they say about me, but the things they say about Heather and Maddy are infuriating. Still, I’m working on accepting that I can’t change people’s perceptions of what happened. No matter what they say, it doesn’t change the truth.”

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