Page 126 of Harrison's Wedding

I think about this for a second. I have no ill feelings toward Maddy. She was a victim in all of this, and I feel guilty as hell at the way she’s been treated. But I don’t feel at all as though she raped me.

“Because she never had a choice in any of it, as I said. That opportunity to choose anything was taken away from her when her drink was spiked.”

Brendan nods. “Of course, it was. So, why don’t you apply the same logic to yourself?”

“Because I…because…” I trail off twice, unable to see how this logic doesn’t apply to me, but still feeling the guilt and shame of what I did. “Because I cheated on Heather.”

“We’re not talking about that aspect right now. Your drink was spiked, and you were unable to consent to either taking the drugs or having sex. So, why do you speak about it as though you’re the perpetrator in the situation?”

I blink at him. Some part of me agrees with him. A tiny logical part in my brain says to me that I’m a victim, too. That I couldn’t consent to anything I did that night. A larger part of my brain screams at me that I’m a piece of shit who cheated on his fiancé with a woman who couldn’t consent to having sex with him.

“I’m not sure,” I admit. “I mean, I can see what you’re saying, but I still feel as though I was in the wrong.”

“Those feelings are valid, Harrison. Everything you’re feeling is normal and natural. It will take time to work through it all, and to learn healthy coping skills to replace the unhealthy ones you’ve been using until now.”

Our session continues, and my heart is a little bit lighter by the end of it.

“I saw that you haven’t canceled your Saturday appointments. I’d like to continue seeing you if you’d be open to doing that,” Brendan says as we’re finishing up.

“I think that would be good.” I hesitate for a second and then say, “Thank you so much for everything. I didn’t realize how hard it’s been lately.”

“You’re welcome. That’s what I’m here for.” He smiles at me, and I smile back.

I leave his room and sigh as I do. I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but I also feel as though I’ve simply taken the first step in an uphill climb and that the journey ahead will be long and arduous.

20

Aaron, Aaron Hamilton

I’m sitting next to Hayden at the dining table and eating some toast for breakfast when my phone buzzes and Cooper’s name appears on the screen. I frown as I look at it before picking it up.

“Hi, Cooper.”

“Harrison, I’m glad you answered. We have a meeting at two this afternoon with the Chief of Police from Los Angeles. He’s going to give us a briefing because they’ve arrested someone.”

My heart begins to race as I take in what he’s saying. They’ve arrested someone for the drugging. I don’t know how to feel, and I swallow heavily.

“Are you there?” Cooper asks tersely.

“Uh, yeah. I’m here. Okay, thanks for letting me know. I’ll tell Hayden.”

“Oh, good, that’ll save me a call. Well, I’ll talk to—”

I can tell he’s about to end the call, and I blurt out, “Will you be telling Heather about the meeting?”

“What? Why would I do that? She wasn’t drugged.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head. “Her life was very much affected by what happened, Cooper. I think she would want to be there.”

If there’s one thing I know about my angel, it’s that she doesn’t like to be out of the loop. I also just feel like whatever happens today, I need her to be in the room for it. I’ve had so many life experiences with her, and finding out who ruined our lives isn’t one I want to have without her.

“Fine. I’ll call her. Anything else?”

My heart starts pounding in my chest as I think of the other thing I need to know about today. I swallow heavily and blow out a breath of air slowly.

“Will Maddy be there today?” I whisper hoarsely.

Cooper sighs and says, “Yes, she will be. I’m sorry, Harrison, but she has to be.”

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