Page 114 of Harrison's Wedding

“Why?” I ask without thinking.

I haven’t yet canceled our appointments. I don’t know why not. I have considered it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I’ve just been paying for the missed sessions whenever they call me about them.

“I don’t know, honestly.” She’s silent for a few seconds, then says softly, “I miss you.”

Her words scratch across my wounded heart. I can hear her longing for me, and I ache for her just as badly.

“I miss you, too,” I admit.

“It’s strange being away from you.” Her voice is quiet and strained.

“We’ve been together for a long time. It’ll take time to get used to this, I guess.”

I don’t want to get used to it. I want to be with her, but I can’t be because I fucked Maddy. I flinch and push away the memories this thought brings to my mind.

“I suppose it will,” she replies in a stiff voice. “How have you been?”

“I’m okay,” I say, hating that we’ve been reduced to small talk with one another.

She sighs, and takes the conversation very much out of small talk territory by saying, “I’ve seen pictures of you online. You’re…going out a lot.”

I cringe and consider what to say before I reply. These strained conversations that I’ve had with Heather since that night are so unnatural. I’ve always been able to tell her everything.

“Yeah, I have. If I don’t go out, I stay home and think about you. So, I go out.”

“I don’t know what to say to that, Harrison,” she responds in a quiet voice.

I feel the stinging pain of her using my name, and I frown as I realize that not talking to her has been a relief. I hate that. I hate myself. I hate my life.

“Don’t say anything, Heather. I love you—”

Shit, shit, shit. You can’t say that to her.

I quickly continue to cover my slip, “I’ll organize with Brendan for us to have an appointment at our usual time on Saturday.”

We quickly end our call after that, and I drop my head into my hands, forcing myself to breathe slowly because I want to cry right now. Hearing her voice was painful, but knowing that I’ll be seeing her on Saturday is worse.

I walk over to the bedside table, pull out the ring box, and open it to look at the engagement ring inside. I sit back on the bed and stare at it for a long time. Finally, I pull the ring out of the box and hold it over my heart…and then I cry.

* * *

On Friday morning,I wake and immediately feel a shock of concern hit me. I fell asleep holding Heather’s ring, and it’s not in my hand now. I pull the bedcovers back carefully, but I can’t find it, and I can feel my heart racing in my chest at the thought of it somehow being lost. I jump out of bed and desperately search the floor before I breathe a sigh of relief when I find it lying on the floor next to my foot. I try to calm my breathing as I bend to pick it up. Even losing it for a moment was terrifying.

I pick it up reverentially and put it back in its box. I place the box in the side table drawer, frowning because I felt better when I had it with me and I can’t stand the thought of losing it. That connection to Heather and my former life was soothing. It takes me a minute before I decide to call the jeweler I bought the ring from.

“Hi, my name is Harrison Fletcher, and I bought an engagement ring from your store last year. I was wondering if I could come in today and perhaps purchase a necklace.”

“Absolutely, Mr. Fletcher. Let me check our appointment bookings. Can I put you on hold for a moment?” I give my agreement, and it takes about a minute before they take me off hold. “Thanks for holding, Mr. Fletcher. We’re fully booked today, but we would be able to see you at four-thirty this afternoon if that works for you.”

“It does. Thank you so much,” I respond.

I head out to the kitchen and find Hayden making scrambled eggs with salsa. It smells amazing, and my mouth waters as hunger hits me.

“God, that smells good,” I tell him.

He turns to grin at me. “You want some? I figured you would, so I made plenty.”

“Yes, please,” I agree eagerly.

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