Page 111 of Harrison's Wedding

Hayden beams, and guilt floods through me. I’ve lost the band as a whole a bunch of awesome deals and money, but I get to keep the one thing that was solely mine. Yet, Hayden’s happy for me. He shouldn’t be.

I turn to look out the window again, hiding my face as I say, “Yeah, it’s excellent.”

We fall silent again until we arrive at Giovanni’s. Some members of the paparazzi obviously followed us here, because they rush out of their cars as soon as we get out of the SUV.

“Harrison, is it true that Sebastian and Heather are together now?” one asks.

My jaw tightens, and I say, “No comment.”

Fuck. I shouldn’t have said anything. They’ll take that as a yes.

“So, the wedding is off, then?” someone else asks.

Michael and Jesse are keeping the few reporters away, but I can barely move as I’m asked this question. Oh god, at some point, everyone is going to know. They’re going to know that what I did was so bad that my angel doesn’t want to marry me now.

Hayden nudges me slightly to get me moving quicker and says, “We said no comment.”

I’m trying hard to fight against a wave of tears, and it feels as though I can’t breathe. The world is going to know soon. They will know. Heather is gone. I love her. The ring in the box in my room. Maddy in bed with me. The nurse with the pitying look as I tried to leave the hospital. Heather dancing in New York. Heather crying on the sofa.

The memories are too intense, and I can’t shut them down as more questions are called. As soon as we make it inside the restaurant, I slump against the wall and try to breathe. It’s hard. I can’t fill my lungs, so I take short, sharp breaths instead.

Hayden moves in front of me, and I realize our bodyguards are blocking the view of the restaurant. “Deep breaths, Harrison. You can do this.”

I remember Ariana saying something similar the morning after it happened, and I struggle to follow his instruction.

“Count to five while you inhale, then again while you exhale. Slow your breathing,” Hayden instructs.

I try, but only manage two seconds. I try again, and make it to four. It takes about a minute, but I manage to slow my breathing rate and the fuzziness I hadn’t realized was at the edges of my vision begins to recede.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

Hayden walks over to the hostess and says, “Hi, could we get a table for two?”

“Sure,” she says and smiles at him before her eyes dart over to me.

I vaguely recognize her from our visits here, but I turn my gaze to the floor and keep it there.

“Thanks. Is Giovanni here tonight?” Hayden asks.

“Sorry, no.”

“That’s a shame. Tell him I said hi,” he says in a cheerful tone.

We’re taken to a table, and I can feel everyone in the restaurant’s eyes on me as we walk there. I can see it in everyone’s faces. They look at me with a combination of curiosity and judgment.

I order another whisky with dinner and I start to get a buzz going. My worries about everything are being dulled, and I’m grateful. I pull out my phone and look at the picture of Heather from this afternoon.

“I hope she’s having a good night,” I sigh.

“I’m sure she is,” Hayden says with a kind smile. “Sebastian will keep her busy.”

I nod and swallow heavily. “Did you see the picture of them?”

“Yeah. It’s not making the rumors better. Cooper will probably have something to say.”

“I don’t think any of us give a flying fuck what Cooper has to say about anything, do we?” I ask, and genuinely laugh.

Hayden smiles back. “Truth.”

---