Page 103 of Harrison's Wedding

“Harrison,” he says softly. “You know she—”

“No, she doesn’t. You text her, Seb, because she needs your friendship more than she needs to be reminded of the asshole who cheated on her, right now,” I say in a monotone voice.

I can almost see the frown on his face when he responds. “She needs you. You need each other. You did something terrible, but not talking to her isn’t going to change that.”

“I fucked Maddy. Yes, I was high, but she can’t get past it, and I don’t blame her. Neither of us has ever had sex with anyone else…but now I have. I fucked Maddy,” I repeat as the nausea rolls over me, but I’m used to it now.

There’s an awkward silence between us, and plenty of unspoken words I want to say. He surely knows what a terrible person I am.

Finally, he sighs and asks, “Did you know it wasn’t Heather, Harrison?”

My entire body tenses, because I can’t stand it. Memories flash in my mind of Maddy that night. Talking to her about Heather. Being so sure that Heather would want me to do it. The nausea hits me more powerfully, and I can’t stop myself from retching before I manage to answer.

“I don’t really remember,” I lie. “I might have thought it was her. I’m not sure.”

Liar, liar, pants on fire. The childhood rhyme runs through my head, and I push away the memories. I wonder if I can put them in a box and throw away the key, somehow. I really wish they would fuck off out of my brain.

“How could you mistake her for Heather? Maddy’s…not Heather.” There’s an accusatory tone to his words, and I hate that he can easily see through my lie.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. I cough, and continue in a stronger voice, “You’re right. Heather is amazing and beautiful and wonderful and she doesn’t deserve to be engaged to a piece of shit like me.”

“I didn’t say that, Harrison,” Sebastian backtracks.

I’m frustrated that he’s denying the truth, and I accuse him, “No, but you fucking thought it. You thought it because it’s the truth.”

Sebastian sighs heavily. “Don’t put words in my mouth…or thoughts in my head, I guess. When’s your next appointment with Brendan?”

“Tomorrow, after Heather gets back from New York.”

“Talk to her, Harrison. That interviewer was an asshole, and she needs you to talk to her.”

He hasn’t been living in our apartment for the last month. Heather doesn’t want me to talk to her. I’ll only ruin her evening if I do.

“No. You talk to her; I’m going to go.”

I hang up before Sebastian can say anything else, and I go back to watching the interview again. My phone lights up with a text from Sebastian, and I pick it up and look at it.

If you want to talk, you know my number. Even better, you know hers.

I swallow bitter bile as I look at it. I hate that I can’t call her. That I don’t deserve to, but everyone else does.

Good to know. The whole world basically thinks my fiancée is going to run away with you and the sick part is that that’s the only part of the interview that made me laugh.

It takes a second before he responds.

You don’t think it’s a good idea, then?

I laugh and roll my eyes. Joking about this makes everything feel normal. I hate that it’s not, but I crave that normality. The stupid joke that we’ve made for years.

Check with her, maybe she’ll rethink running away with you. Could be good promotion for Rules To Break. Works with the theme of the song. Give it a go.

The smile on my face feels strange, and I know it’s because smiling or laughing is such a rare occurrence for me these days.

Will do. Obviously, she’ll say yes. Should we get Cooper to prepare our marketing strategy?

I laugh out loud at this. It’s dumb. It’s sick. But I’m laughing.

Save it for Monday, don’t bother him on the weekend with this. Vegas wedding, though? Can I be the best man?

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