Page 83 of Gabriel's Album

I talk to Hayden occasionally during the ceremony, but my nerves have returned now that the show has started. I know that we’re performing before the winners of any of the categories in which we’re nominated are going to be announced.

Sure enough, it feels like the show has been going for five seconds when we’re collected and taken backstage to prepare for our performance.

“Hi, this is Gabriel,” I say to a camera with a smile on my face.

“I’m Sebastian,” Sebastian adds.

“Hayden.” Hayden smiles at the camera.

“I’m Harrison.”

“And we’re Cruise Control,” we say together.

“We’re about to perform live for the Grammys, and we hope you enjoy the show,” I add.

The producer who instructed us on the intro says, “That was great, guys. Thanks!”

Someone wearing a headpiece escorts us onto the dark stage, and I’m taken to my position in front of the microphone stand at the center of it. My eyes roam the audience until I find Ariana. It takes me a second to find her because seat fillers have taken our seats, which throws me off. She’s sitting close enough to the stage that I can see her easily, even if she can’t see me in the darkness.

I hear the shuffling movement of the other guys getting into their positions. It’s strange hearing the acceptance speech of the winner of whatever category has just been announced, because I can hear it from my right ear where they’re talking nearby, but also through the speakers on my left as it’s amplified to the room through the sound system.

The winner finishes up their speech and heads backstage while the host comes on and tells everyone about our performance of “If I Were You.” My heart pounds in my chest, and I look to my left to see Harrison, who smiles at me. I look right and see Sebastian, who’s looking out at the crowd. I know that Hayden is behind me, and I release a deep breath. We’re in this together; it’s just like any other performance.

The lights come up on the stage and Ariana immediately looks at me, causing my face to split into a smile. Hayden and Harrison start playing before Sebastian joins them, and then my cue hits.

As always, once I’m performing, all of my nerves dissipate. When the first chorus comes around, I remove the mic from its stand and sing while moving around the stage as we perform our Best Song nomination. I look at Ariana as much as I can, wishing that I could finish this performance and go back to sit with her.

We finish the song to a standing ovation from the audience and it’s completely and utterly surreal. Actual music gods are standing and cheering for us. I feel numb, and as though this can’t possibly be happening, even though I know it is.

We arrive back in our seats just in time to hear the presenter announce the nominees for Best Rock Song.

“And the winner is…” He opens the envelope, and I swear my heart has stopped beating in my chest. I can barely breathe while he reads the name. It’s not us; it’ll be someone else. “‘If I Were You’ by Cruise Control!”

My mouth drops open, and I gasp loudly. We stand up and make our way up to accept our awards. I knew that we were nominated for so many awards that it was likely we might win one, but I hadn’t really allowed myself to believe it would happen.

Sebastian gives the first speech, thanking his family, Cooper, our agent, and all the affiliated people at the record label. He steps aside, and the space in front of the microphone is empty. I walk forward to fill it with my heart pounding in my chest.

I’ve won a Grammy. I can’t fucking believe it. Shit, I’d better not swear in my speech.

“Along with all the people that Sebastian mentioned,” I begin, and smile at the crowd. “I’d like to thank my family for supporting me all these years—” I seek out Ariana’s face in the audience. As soon as I find her, that sense of peace washes over me and I say the next sentence to her, “—And also the very special person in my life, who I couldn’t do without. You know who you are.” I look for the camera that’s live and smile into it as I add, “I’d also like to especially thank the fans, without whom we wouldn’t be here today. This is for you!” I finish up as I raise my gramophone statue in the air.

I move aside, so Harrison can have a chance to speak. “I want to thank my family for always supporting me, but I especially want to thank my angel. She’s been my best friend since I was sixteen years old, and I wrote this song for her.”

The crowd says a collective, “Aww.”

“I couldn’t ask for a better muse. So, thank you for inspiring me and supporting me and for being with us every step of the way.”

Heather blows him a kiss and he grins as he steps aside. Hayden gets a chance to thank his parents and sister before the music starts playing to signal that we should leave the stage, so he rushes the last of his thank yous. I feel bad and note to myself that he should get to go first if, by some miracle, we win another award.

We exit to the wings on the left side of the stage, and at once, we are taken to a small crowd of media so we can give interviews while posing with the gramophone statues. When we finish, the statues are taken off us because the real ones will come in the mail sometime in the future, and we’re escorted back to our seats again.

That is the first of many awards we win. My concern about Hayden not getting enough time to give a speech is unfounded because we get so many awards that it’s almost embarrassing by the end. As we accept more and more awards, the guys and I can’t stop grinning at each other because it’s so ludicrous.

By the time they announce the award for Album of the Year, the presenter makes a joke about us selling all our spare statues online. We’ve also well and truly run out of people to thank in our speeches, and the audience all laugh as we rack our brains for people to thank.

“I guess if there’s anyone I’ve forgotten to thank at this point, I can expect a very angry email or text tomorrow!” I can’t help joking, but it’s actually a legitimate concern because I’ve had ample opportunity to thank anyone who’s important to me.

Shortly after that, the awards ceremony wraps up, and everyone cheers. We make our way out of the arena and head toward our limo to go to the after-party. Heather catches Sebastian’s arm as Hayden and Harrison are getting into the car.

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