Page 72 of Gabriel's Album

Hayden doesn’t respond immediately. He looks at the primates playing in front of us for a few minutes.

When he finally speaks, he’s still looking at them. “I’ve noticed a change in her. She doesn’t seem as engaged anymore, and it worries me.”

He’s put a voice to my own thoughts. I hadn’t realized that anyone other than me had noticed, though I shouldn’t be surprised. We’re all so close that it’s probably fucking obvious to everyone that Ariana and I are having problems.

“I had hoped that bringing her on tour would help. She has a really big problem with fame and the paparazzi.”

I purse my lips and watch the mandrills as they swing through the trees in the enclosure without a care in the world. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if I didn’t have to worry about anything except the next time the zookeeper was coming with my food?

“A problem with the paparazzi, you say? I hadn’t noticed.” Hayden turns his head to give me a wry grin.

I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, but”—I pause for a second to consider how much to say—“she has good reason to feel the way she does. I can’t really say much more than that, but she’s had a poor experience with the paparazzi in the past. The fact she even got into a relationship with me is kind of astounding; that’s how bad her experience with them was.”

I can’t help but smile as I think about the truth of this. She got into a relationship with me because she did see past the rock star stuff. She does love me. I have to cling to that knowledge and hope it’s enough to get us to the point where she’s comfortable being with me and facing the public scrutiny that comes with that.

Hayden looks curious about the new information I’ve given him, but he doesn’t pry any further about it. I knew he wouldn’t, and I’m so grateful that he is the person he is.

“Well, if that’s the case, I think it’s quite telling. She loves you—that much is obvious. I just see her withdrawing and I hope she’s okay.” He smiles at me.

“Thanks for caring,” I tell him.

“I’m always here if you need me.”

We continue to make our way through the zoo. By ten-thirty, we’ve reached the sloths, and I grin to myself as I snap a picture of Ariana’s favorite animal and send her a picture.

I hope your headache has gone away. I wish you were here.

It’s not long before I see a reply from her that puts a smile on my face.

It has gone away. I’m doing some writing, but I miss you. I can’t wait for you to come home.

Something about her use of the word ‘home’ to refer to whatever place we happen to be staying together is comforting to me. I miss her too. By the time we’ve had lunch in the cafeteria from a catering company that Sierra hired for us, I’m more than ready to go home and see her.

We’re heading to the Outback Trail, featuring the Australian animals, when I turn to my friends and say, “I think I’m going to head back to the hotel.”

“Another one bites the dust,” Heather shakes her head.

“I just want to check on Ariana,” I tell her.

Heather smiles at me. “I know you do. It’s a far better reason for bailing than wanting to screw a groupie, anyway.”

“Still salty that Seb ditched us?” Harrison grins at her.

Heather purses her lips. “No. I mean, we can always just hire out the zoo for him tomorrow…Oh, wait…”

Harrison laughs and kisses her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him as he does.

“Tell Ariana that I’m thinking of her and I hope she’s feeling better,” Hayden says with a smile on his face.

“I will, thanks, Hayden.”

I walk away from my friends. The longing for Ariana to be in my arms the way Harrison has Heather in his is intense. It sucks that he got to spend today with his girlfriend, while I had to be here on my own.

I reach the front of the zoo and realize that I don’t know how I’m going to get back to the hotel. It seems selfish to take one of the vans, since I don’t know if they would get back before they were needed to take everyone from the zoo back to the hotel.

There are no taxis around, so I pull out my phone and order an Uber to take me back instead. When I arrive back at the hotel, I head up to my room and am disappointed when I find that it’s dark and quiet. Ariana has started doing this lately. It’s one of the changes I’ve seen in her. Remembering my conversation with Hayden, it’s clear I’m no longer the only one, since he’s noticed them as well.

She spends a lot of time in her hotel room instead of mine. Whenever I’m busy doing something else, she’ll retreat there instead of waiting in the room we share together. It’s one of the walls she puts up between us, and I hate it.

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